It's A Brandi Moment

Baboons By Nature Groom One Another To Be Sure They Have No Bugs. Friends Of Brandi Would Lay On The Floor And Let Brandi Search Through Each Strand Of Hair Looking For Any Kind Of Parasite. I Have Thought About What Her Reaction Would Have Been If She Had Ever Found What She Was Searching For.
I Had Enclosed A Section Of A Room With Wooden Bars To Give Brandi Some Room To Play In. I Put In A Slide And A Rope As Well As Her Bed. She Enjoyed Her Newfound Freedom.
I Came Home One Night From Work To Give Her A Diaper Change And Serve Her Dinner. When I Looked In The Big Cage She Was Not In It. I Began To Panic And Wonder Where She Could Be. I Hollered For Billie To Let Her Know Brandi Was Missing. In The Corner Of The Cage Brandi Had Pried Up A Piece Of Plywood That Was Once A Laundry Chute. The Clothes Ended Up In A Basket In The Basement. I Said, %$#$% She Is In The Basement Somewhere. I Had To Go Outside To A Side Hatch That Would Enter Into The Basement. As Soon As I Opened The Door Brandi Jumped Into My Arms. She Was Terrified With Her Experience In The Dark Dungeon-Like Rooms From Underneath. Hahaha!!
She Couldn't Get Back Into The Hole She Came Through Because It Was Then The Basement Ceiling Which Was Too High For Her To Return Through. She Was So Forever Grateful For Me To Rescue Her From Her Escapade. I Fixed That Hole In The Floor. Even If I Decided Not To Fix It, The Chances Of Brandi Ever Returning To That Basement Were Slim To None.

Just Call Me Mac.......

Is That You Mac?......

Today Was The Online Picnic At Kickappoo Park Pavilion. Two Years Ago I Was Given A Shirt That Reads McGregor's Bar & Grill. It Was Given To Me By My Brother Tuck. Apparently There Is A McGregor's Bar & Grill In The San Diego Area. Not Only Was I Given This Shirt But The Real Table Menu As Well. Anyway, Long Story Short. After We Got Back In Town I Had To Stop In County Market. Going Down The Isle I Hear A Voice. Is That You Mac? I Looked At This Nice Lady Who Was Waiting For My Reply. Why Yes I Am. I Recognized You By The Shirt You Are Wearing The Nice Lady Told Me. Now Keep In Mind I Have Only Worn This Shirt On Two Occasions. The Nice Lady Told Me She Doesn't Post But Reads Alot On The Internet. She Also Told Me She Has Read My Blogs And Enjoys Them And Encouraged Me To Continue. Well, I Will Wash The Shirt And Bring It Out Again When An Occasion Arrives.

Just Call Me Mac........

It Was Love At First Sight........

We Had Intended On Bringing Home A Capuchan Monkey But Instead Brought Home A Babboon! I Had Read Many Articles About Capuchan Monkey's And How Intelligent They Are. Caphuchan Monkeys Are The Most Common Primate To Aid In Paraplegic Or Quadriplegic. They Are Trained To Turn On And Off Lights, Small Appliances, Fetch Or Retrieve Items. They Will Turn Pages Of A Book Or Insert Money In A Vending Machine. We Made Telephone Arrangements To Pick It Up On Sunday In Ohio. As We Entered In The Business We Were Escorted To Where Our Capuchan Was Waiting For Our Arrival. On Our Route I Was Greeted By AN Extended Arm Through The Bars Of A Cage. It Was Like She Said Come Over Here And Shake My Hand. Take Me Home. I Brought This To Billie's Attention And She Told Me To Ignore Her Because Our Capuchan Was In The Next Room And Besides That, She Was Ugly! I Just Couldn't Bring Myself To Not Give Her My Full Attention, And She Was Not Ugly! I Did Eventually Make Myself To Where Our Monkey Was Waiting. The Caphuchan Was Really Timid And Didn't Seem To Want To Be Social With Us. I Looked Over My Shoulder To Where The Other Monkey Was Caged. She Kept Staring At Me As To Say, Please Take Me Home....... Guess What?? We Took Her Home. However It Wasn't That Easy. We Had No Idea At That Moment That This Experience Would Be Etched In Our Memory Forever. About 25 miles Into Our Trip Home Disaster Struck. Our Car Began Running Hot. The Next Thing I Knew The Car Had Caught Fire And We became Stranded On The Interstate Highway With A Baboon Who Has No Idea What Was Going On. A Passing Trucker Stopped And Put The Fire Out And Radioed For A Police Officer To Respond. The State Trooper Called A Wrecker For Us So We Could Get Off The Highway. The Tow Truck Driver Took Us To A Gas Station In This Small Town East Of Indianapolis With Nothing Other Than That Gas Station. No Bus Station, No Cab Service. Here Billie, And I And This Babboon Who Has No Idea Who We Are, Are Sitting At This Gas Station Offering People Money To Drive Us Back To Danville. After Sitting There For More Than 2 Hours We Finally Convinced A Couple To Drive Us To Danville. We Gave Them The Title To The Car Plus 100.00. As You Might Have Guessed I Was Getting To Believe That This Was Not A Good Start For The Beginning Of A Long Term Relationship With A Papio Babboon. It Was Late When We Arrived Home With Brandi. Trying To Get Acquainted With One Another Was My Main Objective. Unfortunate For Me Brandi Had No Desire To Get Acquainted With Me. She Was Stuck On Billie. Maybe That Was For The Best At The Time Since I had To Be At Work First Thing In The Morning. This Memory Would Only Be The First Of Many In The Coming Years OF My Life With Brandi........ Just Call Me Mac....

It's Not Spring Until You Walk Your Monkey.......

That Was The Heading Of An Article Written By A Commercial News Columnist Back In The Mid 1980's. I Believe It Was About Mid March of 86 Or 1987. It Seemed To Be A Very Long Winter And Many People In The Danville Area Were Hungry For Spring.
Brandi Was Her Name And She Was A Papio Baboon. Billie And I Purchased Her When She Was Only 9 Months Old. I Have Numerous Stories That Involved Brandi And The Wonderful Moments We Shared Together. This Is The First Of A Series Of Story's Of Life With Brandi.
I Dressed Bandi Always In One Of Those One Piece Jumpsuits With Feet In Them. Ofcourse I had To Cut The Feet Sections Out In Order To Accommodate Her Hand-Like Tootsie's. Ofcourse She Was Always Diapered And Bathed By Me.
Anyway, Back To The Article. This Article Written By Commercial News Columnist Chuck Carpenter. It Told Of All The Sure Signs That Spring Has Finally Sprung! The Sighting Of The First Robin. The Opening Of The Local Custard Cup Ice Cream Shop.
I Too Took Advantage Of The Springlike Temperatures And Decided It Was A Beautiful Day For A Walk. On The Outside Of Her Jump Suit I Had A Medium Size Dog Harness That I Had To Turn Around So That She Couldn't Reach Her Little Hands To The Harness Strap. I Then Put A 10 Foot Leash On Her And Off We Went. I Walked Her Just Like You Would Walk Your Dog. So Apparently Mr Carpenter Had Seen Us That Day On His Lunch Break And It Finally Registered To Him And All The Others That Day.
It's Not Spring until You Walk Your Monkey!

Just Call Me Mac........

Using The Right Ammo......

I Just Love Bowling. Whenever You Do Poorly You Can Always Blame It On The Ball. Now You Can Spend Some Quality Time With It And Give It A Good Talking To.
You Can Always Plead Your Case With Your Ball. Explain To It That It Can Be Replaced If It Doesn't Perform Properly. This Can Be A Give And Take Relationship. I Take And The Ball Is Suppose To Give. In Exchange For It's Good Performance I Promise My Ball Free Room And Board In A Nice Cozy Carpeted Cubicle. Securely Locked To Ensure A Safe Environment. In Addition I Give My Ball One Day Each Week To Mingle With Other Balls So It Can Have A Social Experience. I Don't Think I'm Asking Too Much From A Brainless 14 Pounds Of Plastic.
This Appears To Be A One Sided Relationship That Is Not Producing Good Results. My Ball And I Have Had A Good Relationship For More Than A Year And Half. I Thought We Had An Understanding But Apparently I Was Wrong.
My Ball Has Failed Me And Today I Made The Decision To Replace It. I Found My New Love In A Catalog And Was Promised To Be Drilled And Ready To Go On Wednesday. My New Ball Is 2 Pounds Lighter And More Attractive Than My Present One. I Called The Previous Owner Of My Ball And Offered It Back To Him Since It Was His Hand That It Was Drilled For In The First Place. I Left A Message On His Voice Mail.
When Wednesday Arrives My Old Ball Will Come Back Home. There Is No Place For It Any Longer. I Refuse To Hang On To It For Old Time Sake. I Refuse To Allow It To Clutter My Home. So As Of Wednesday My Ball Becomes Homeless. I Can't Bring Myself To Just Handing It Over To A Stranger So I Have Decided To Privately Bury It. I Will Bury It In My Back Yard.
The Bowling Season Is Only 5 Weeks Old. Still Plenty Of Time To Get Acquainted With My New Ball And Instruct To It What I Expect from It. I Will Offer It The Same Benefits As The Other Ball. If It Fails Me I Will Have To Bring It Home And Show It Where Useless Balls That Refuse To Perform End Up. If That Fails Then I Just May Have Started A New Trend Of The Bowling Ball Graveyard.

Just Call Me Mac......

What's In A Name?

I Had A Day Of Reflection Today. I Attended The Funeral Of My Foster Brother Loyal Foote. As I Sat There Listening To The Songs Chosen I Found My Mind Wander Over The Years I Had Known Loyal.
Loyal Came To Our Home With His Brother Mark During A Difficult Period Of Time For These Two Brothers. Their Appearance Came At A Time Our Family Had It's Revolving Door Of Children Coming And Going. Most Were Going With The Exception Of Both Mark And Loyal. I Believed They Lived In Our Home For Five Years. My Parents Were Foster Parents For The State Of Illinois.
I'm Not Sure The Exact Number Of Children Who Came Through That Revolving Door For Various Reasons. One Thing Was For Certain, Each Child Could Feel Safe And Loved.
As Adults We Tend To Focus On Our Immediate Families. We Involve Ourselves In Our Childrens Lives, Then Our Grandchildrens Lives. Time Seems To Travel So Much Faster As You Grow Older. As A Youngster I Never Thought I Would Ever Get "Old Enough". When I Finally Reached That Age The Measurement of Time Seemed To Double In Speed.
They Say Confessions Are Good For The Soul. I Don't Have A Confession To Make So To Speak But I Have Been Troubled For Quite Some Time.
A Few Years Back Loyal Gave Me His E-Mail Address. I Was Rather Shocked By What I Had Read. It Read Devilsoul Then Some Numbers After That Which I Believe Was His Zip Code For Lafayette Indiana. Long Story Short, I Had A Problem With It. I Decided Not To Share His Address With My Mother. I Know That Seems Selfish But I Had A Real Hang Up About This Name On His Yahoo Mail Account. Why Didn't I Just Ask Him Why He Chose To Use This Name. He Was Raised In A Christian Home. Was I Wrong In Passing Judgement Before Knowing The Reason He Chose To Use This Name? Loyal Had Been Known To Be A Rebel Of Sorts. This Will Be My Lasting Impression Of My Brother Loyal. It Doesn't Seem Fair When Your Mind Is Blinded By Evil And You Either Choose To Fight It Or You Ignore It. In My Case I Chose To Ignore It. Today Looking Back I Would Have To Say I Made A Bad Decision. Unfortunatly Looking Back Is All I Can Do For My Brother Loyal. There Will Be No Future Moments Of Time To Share. If I Could Do It All Over Again I Would Have Atleast Called Him On It And Loyal Was The Kind Of Person Who Would Be Honest In What He Told You. If In Fact Loyal Had Given His Soul To The Devil I Would Think We Would Have Seen Evil. His Son Gage Is Now An Angel In God's Loving Arms. I Pray For My Brothers Soul. May God Have Mercy On His Soul.
Today's Lesson Learned Was Not To Take Life For Granted. In The Blink Of An Eye Your Life Will Be Changed For Ever. Live Today As If It Is Your Last. It Could Be......

Just Call Me Mac.......

My Butt Went Flat

When You Deal With The Aging Process You Are Likely To Run Into Something You Are Unable To Prevent. For Example When You Have Wrinkles There Is Botox, Or Wrinkle Cream. When Your Hair Falls Out You Either Buy A Wig, Use Hair Growing Tonic Or Opt For Hair Implants. Maybe By Admission You Declare Bald Is Beautiful!
When Your Teeth Falls Out You Can Replace Them With Dentures Or Have Dental Implants.
When Your Body Becomes Dependant On The Earths Gravity, The Elderly Body Could Get Down Right Scarey! For Example; The Flat Butt Syndrome. This Disorder Has Attacked Both Young And Old. Ordinarily If You Keep Your Body In Good Shape You Have A Good Chance Of Delaying The Flat Butt Syndrome. If Not In Good Shape You Avoid Full Length Mirrors In Rooms You May Find Yourself Naked.
I Have What Some Refer To As A Beer Belly. I May Have One That Resembles One But I Can Assure You That's Not Why I Have One.
In My Past Good Shape Body I Could Wear My Pants At My Weist Line. When I Began Broadening In The Middle, The Belt Line Lowered. Now That My Butt Went Flat I Find It Harder To Keep My Pants Up. It Has Been Rumored That Our Fair City Of Danville Could Fine You For Not Pulling Up Your Pants. I May Have To Rearrange My Daily Activities So I Can Only Be Seen At Night.
This Is One Of Those Things In Life You Have No Control Of. You Can Either Live In Denial Or Admit That Father Time Is Keeping In Step With You.
By Acknowledgement, You Realize There Will Be Other Old Age Syptoms To Come.
In The Meantime You Just Take One Symptom At A Time. Today It Is The Flat Butt Syndrome. Tommorow,.......The Moon!!
Just Call Me Mac......

Awww, Our Annual Sweetcorn Festival

It Seems As Though When I Pay A Hefty Price For My Enjoyment It No Longer Becomes Fun Anymore. Example; The Last Time I Went Fishing I got A 75.00 Ticket For Not Having A Fishing License. I Have Never Went Fishing Again. It's Not That I Don't Like Fishing Because I Do. To Be Quite Honest About It I Really Don't Have The Time. It Was A Spur Of The Moment Kind Of Thing Anyway That My Daughter Asked If I Wanted To Go Fishing. Since There Was Only A Couple Hours Left Of Day Light What Harm Could Come From It? Pfffft!!
That Brings Me To The Hoopston Sweetcorn Festival Held Annually On The Labor Day Weekend. It Has Been Atleast Five Years Since I Last Attended This Event.
One Of The Crowd Attractions Is Free Hot Buttered Sweetcorn. Everything Else At This Festival Is Quite Expensive. Don't Arrive Hungry Unless You Are Prepared To Pay Dearly From Your Wallet. I Remember I Was A Little Hungry That Day So Since The Sweetcorn Was Free I Could Always Get My Fill With That.
I Think I Ended Up Eating Anywhere From 6-8 Ears Of Corn That Day. After Walking Around Viewing The Different Vendors We Decided To Head Back Home And Call It A Day.
Shortly After Arriving Home I Began Having Stomach Pains. As The Evening Went On The Pain Got Worse. I Told Billie Jo I Could Not Go On Much Longer With This Pain. I Knew I Could Never Get A Wink Of Sleep Unless I Could Rid Myself Of This Unbearable Pain. Going To The Hospital Was Not An Option Unless It Was My Last Resort.
After Being Bent Over With My Head Between My Legs I Knew I Could No Longer Live With This Another Minute.
I Shot Out The Door And Jumped In My Pickup Truck And Headed To The Nearest Gas Station.
I Purchased A 2 Liter Bottle Of 7Up And Quickly Exited The Business.
I Quickly Opened Up The Bottle And Began Belching And Farting. Belched Some More And Farted Even More. Did I Feel Better? You Bet I Did! After I Arrived Home I Was Able To Spend Some Quality Time In The Bathroom Where My Final Relief Was Accomplished.
Haven't Been Back Since And Don't Plan Anytime Soon.
In The Meantime I Learned A Valuable Lesson That Day. Always Eat Your Corn In Moderation. Over Indulging Can Be Very Dangerous To Your Health!
Just Call Me Mac