Farewell, It's Time To Move On

Replacing The Old Calendar Of 2011 Is A Pleasure For Me. I Have Had A Year To Mourn My Son's Death. Now I Won't Look At A Particular Date And Think To Myself A Year Ago Today Bobby And I Did This Or That.
It Will Actually Give Me The Peace I Have Been Seeking For So Long. I Didn't Realize It Until The Last Few Days. The First Week Of January Was Almost Unbearable. My Son Who I Thought Would Comfort Me In My Old Age. My Son Who Gave Me Four Beautiful Grand Children.
Tonight I Played The Music Video My Niece Tabitha Created Of Bobby's Life. There Were Many Touching Moments Throughout The Video. My Reason For Not Watching It Was Because It Was Too Painful. I Cry Every Time I Watch It.
I Chose To Watch It Tonight Because I Consider Tomorrow Being A New Chapter In My Life. I Now Feel Bobby Inside Of Me. My Sadness Comes From Me Missing His Physical Appearance. Missing Our Talks And Walks In The Woods Searching For Mushrooms. I Miss Him Helping Me In My Truck.
Now That I Finally Feel Him Inside My Heart I Have Comfort. I'm At Peace.
From This Point On Bobby Will Always Be A Happy Memory For Me. He Is My Inspiration To Be A Better Person, To Help More Needy Families. I No Longer Feel Stuck In A Time Warp. After Tonight I Look Forward To Good Things.
Billie And I Shared Tonight About What The New Year Means For Us. I Can't Speak For Her But I Can Say I Feel Blessed To Have Had Him In My Life For 29 Years. Billie Asked Me If It Was Meant To Be? I Told Her I Believe It Was. Only God Knows How Much Time We Have Here. We All Just Assume We Will All Live To A Ripe Old Age Before We Die. I May Live To Be 100! However I Could Die Tomorrow.
It's Amazing How Differently A Person Views The Old Year Leaving And The New One Approaching. For Years I Felt Sadness. I Think It Was Because Of The Special Things That Happened That Particular Year. I Have Never Felt Like This Before. It Feels Like I Have Been Saved Again. Like When I First Accepted Jesus As My Savior. I Feel Like A New Person With A Vision For My Future. It Gives Me Strength.
What I Do Know Is I Feel Like I Am A Better Person Today Because I Knew Him. I Am Changed For The Better. Now As I Move My Life Forward I Do So With Peace In My Heart.