Sunday, May 13, 2012

There Is So Much Truth Behind This Title. I Feel Like I Am Dying Within Myself. The Day My Son Passed Away A Part Of Me Died. I Tried To Be Strong For Those Around Me Who Were Hurting. I Felt If I Showed Weakness Those Around Me Would Be Weak. I Tried To Move On With My Life But I Just Can't. I Cannot Seem To Find The Peace I Am Seeking. I Have Prayed For Inner Peace. I Have Yet To Get It. I Am Haunted And Tormented In My Sleep By Thoughts And Images Of My Son.
I Don't Sleep Well At Night Anymore. I'm Not Sure Where My Son Is. Is He In Heaven Or Hell? I Trust Jesus Delivered Him From His Torment And Took Him Under His Wing On Their Way To Heavens Gate. How Am I To Ever Know For Sure? I Want To Trust My Heart And Believe He Is There But How Do I Know For Sure?
I Was Told That One Who Commits Suicide Goes To Hell. Is This Because One Of The Ten Commandments Were Broken? If That's The Case Then Heaven Is Empty And Hell Is Full. Ok, Thou Shall Not Kill. Even Yourself? Ok, Then Someone Who Has Murdered Does Not Enter The Gates Of Heaven. However, If You Confess To God And Ask To Be Forgiven, God Forgives You. All You Have To Do Is Ask For Forgiveness.
I Am Sure Most All My Readers Know Of The Ten Commandments God Commands Us To Follow. Looking Them Over I Am Guilty Of Breaking Maybe Half Of Them Over My Lifetime. Am I Doomed To Hell? According To My Belief I Must Ask God To Forgive Me And Ask To Be Saved. Born Again To Live For Christ. However, I Will Always Be A Sinner For As Long As I Live. My Point? I Would Like To Be Reunited With My Son Someday. I Don't Want To Spend Eternity In Hell Though. It Makes Me Ill To Think My Son Is In Hell. I Am Haunted By This. Is It Too Late To Pray For My Son's Soul? I'm Not Sure If He Asked God To Forgive Him For What He Was About To Do. Can You Really Ask To Be Forgiven For Something Before It's Done?
Please Lord Hear My Prayer. Forgive Me For Not Raising My Son As I Know I Should Have. If He Knew Jesus Died On The Cross For All Our Sins He May Have Been A Believer. Hold Me Accountable Lord Because I Was His Father And It Was My Duty To Show Him The Way. I Failed You, Please Forgive Me. I Pray For My Son's Soul. He Was A Good Man. He Was A Sinner Like So Many Here On Earth. None Of His Sins However Were So Bad He Spend Eternity In Hell. Please Hear My Prayer Lord. I Promise To Witness To Others Your Goodness And Everlasting Love. All I Ask Is You Have Mercy On My Son's Soul. I Ask This Dear Lord In Your Name, Amen.
My Search For Peace Is Still Ongoing. Please Pray For Me.

2 comments:

  1. Bobby Joe once told me he enjoyed going to Lake SRINGFIELD CAMP and he said he accpeted Jesus as his savior there. That assures me he is heaven worshipping the Lord now. I hope this gives you some peace to know what he shared with me

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  2. I to have questiones this before.
    I was always taught God will not give us more than we can handle, but there are times I believe he does. And we brake.
    I can not believe our loving God would look at that sweet boy and banish him to hell. Not the God I believe in and hold so dear.
    He's there with his Aunt Brenda watching down on us wIting on the day we are all reunited again.
    Love you Uncle, I think we both have the unfortunate problem of over thinking these things I KNOW I do :/
    How many times I ask myself what I should have done different with mom and if I would have only done that, etc.
    She always told me everything happenes for a reason, believe me I can not figure out why her life had to be so hard and why his ended like it did. But I have to try to take comfort in BELIEVING what she taught me.

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