It Was Far Too Painful To Express Myself And Present The Words Properly On Valentines Day. This Day Was Established For The Happy Hearted. Certainly Not For The Broken Hearted. Even Though There Is A Message Here For Someone, I Just Couldn't Figure Out For Whom.
My Cousin Deborah Has Been Battling Cancer The Past Few Years. She Has Two Young Children. I Have Read Her Entries In The On-Line Journal She Has Kept. I Have Read Her Struggles As Well As Her Joys.
I Am Sorry To Admit I Never Got A Chance To Get To Know Her. The Miles That Separated Us And The Differences In Our Ages Seem To Be A Poor Excuse, But It's The Only One I Can Find That Seems Reasonable. I Am In My Mid Fifties And She Is Much Younger.
My Reason For Bringing Her Up Today Is Her Fight For Life. I'm Sure She Was Told About The Tragedy In My Life With Losing Bobby. I Guess Suicide Would Be Too Difficult For Her To Understand When Life Seems So Important To Her. What A Waste Was Most Likely Going Through Her Mind When She Heard. I Never Heard From Her After Bobby's Passing And I Don't Expect To Anytime After. By All That I Have Read And All That She Has Endured These Past Couple Of Years She Seems To Be Well Educated And Family Oriented Type Of Young Lady.
Even Though She Has Faced Many Challenges She Chose To Meet Them Head On And Was Determined To Beat It. I Wonder If She Ever Wished For A Healthy Body Like My Son? My Reason For Wondering This Is Because She Would Not Be The Person That She Is Today Without These Challenges In Her Life. She Would Not Have Met The Special People Along This Journey.
It Amazes Me How Our Lives Intertwine And Go Into Different Directions. Shall I Call It Fate? My Reasoning Is If Life Didn't Throw Us Curve Balls We Wouldn't Be The People We Are Today.
Deborah's Dad Is My Uncle. I Never Got The Opportunity To Really Know Him Either Because Of The Miles That Separated Us. I Had Always Hoped For A Closer Relationship With My Family, But For Whatever Reason, Those Life's Curve Balls Prevent It From Happening.
I Deeply Care For This Cousin's Health Issues And Wish Only The Very Best For Her. I Have Tried To Reach Out And Put In A Friends Request On Facebook Months Ago, But Have Never Got A Response. We May Be Blood Related, But That's The Extent Of It. She And I Have Different Paths In Life And I Am Not Saying That In A Bad Way By All Means. I Have A Brother Who Is Just A Year Younger Than I And I Rarely See Him. We Get Along Great But His Interest In Life Are Much Different Than Mine.
The Reason For This Blog Is On One Hand We Have A Strong Willed Young Lady Who Has Battled This Cancer That Has Invaded Her Body. She Loves Her Life To The Fullest And Proves It By The Treatments She Has Endured For It's Cure.
One The Other Hand You Have A Young Man Who Everyone Assumes Has His Entire Life Ahead Of Him Put A Bullet In His Chest And Calls It Quits.
Life Sometimes Just Does Not Make Sense. Life Sometimes Feels Unfair. With All The Twist And Turns The Journey Of Life Gives Us, Leaves Us Just Shaking Our Heads.
We Do Have Choices In Life. Bobby Made His And Deborah Made Hers. Let's Not Forget About My Choices. I Can Choose To Keep A Distance Between My Cousin And Myself. I Have Extended The Olive Branch Months Ago With No Response. That's Ok, Because I Am Mostly To Blame For Their Never Being A Relationship. Again Maybe It Was Never Meant To Be. This Is Where We Go Back To Fate. I Have Mentioned This Word On Numerous Occasions In My Blogs Because I Truly Believe It Has Created Balance In Our Lives. Without It We Would Not Be Where We Are Today.
So, Just Because We Don't Understand It Today, Doesn't Mean There Is Not A Purpose For It In Life. One Day It Will All Become Clear.
In The Meantime, We Continue To Play Life Out As It Has Been Dealt To Us. I Touched On This Before When I Mentioned That God Has Directed Our Life For Us. All We Are Doing Right Now Is Playing It Out. Our Life's Journey According To God Has Been Written. God Knew The Day Bobby Was Born How Many Years Billie And I Had To Love Him.
He Gave Us 29 Years, 5 Months, And 16 Days. Had We Known We Would Be Shorted In Years I'm Certain We Would Planned Things Differently. Unfortunately Life Doesn't Give Us These Previews. This Is Why We All Should Live Each Day To The Fullest, Because It May Be Our Last On Earth.
Everybody Assumes We All Grow Old Together And Getting Cheated Out Of A Full Life Only Happens To Other Families.
Ever Since Bobby Died, I Knew Then That Life Can Deliver Some Real Heartaches. You Can Expect Older People To Die Unexpectedly.
I Guess This Year Will Be A Hard One. There Will Be A Lot Of First, In All Kinds Of Holidays To Come. I Guess All I Can Do Is Take Them One At A Time.
My Hat Is Off To Those Who Struggle To Live. I Admire Fighting A Challenge. So Deborah, If You Ever Read This I Want You To Know I Have Been A Faithful Reader Of Your Journal. You Are Brave As Well As A Fighter. I Commend You For That. My Only Wish Is If My Son Had Your Drive For Living, He Still May Be Here Today.
Keep Fighting The Fight.
No comments:
Post a Comment