I Remember

It Was A Cool Crisp November Morning That I Last Saw My Son Alive. The Date November 22nd Was Always Etched In My Memory Because This Was The Date John F Kennedy Was Assassinated In 1963.
Little Did I Know Years Later A More Significant Event Would Over Shadow That Date. It's Been One Long And Agonizing Year Since I Last Saw You Bobby Joe. Not Too Many People Were Allowed To Call You That. To Everyone Else It Was Just Bobby.
When We Said Our Good Bye's That Day I Had No Idea It Would Be For The Last Time. Had I Known, That Day Would Have Been Much Different. I Would Have Told Him How Much Joy He Brought To My Life. He Believed In My Dream And I Had Hopes He Would Carry It On One Day. I Feel Cheated And Robbed.
Today I Don't Feel Whole. My Heart Is Broken And Every Day I Feel I Am Missing Something. Words Cannot Describe The Emptiness I Feel.
If God Had Only Hinted This Would Have Been My Last Moments With My Son I May Have Held Him Closer When We Hugged For The Last Time. I Would Have Told Him How Proud I Was Of Him For Trying To Turn His Life Around And Be A Better Person. Looking Back I Can Only Wish.
For Now I Can Only Hope That One Day I Will See My Son Again. Yes It Will Be In A Different Life Form, But All In All I Yearn For That Day.
It Seems Like There Were Many Obstacles And Hurdles Throughout This Past Year. Each Of Those Times Came A Reminder Of Moments When Things Were Good. No Thoughts Of Tragedy. Only Enjoying The Moment We Shared Of That Time.
One Night I Dreamed Of Seeing A Clock. Just A Plain Ordinary Clock, So I Thought. However This Clocks Hands Traveled In Reverse. The Minute Hand Would Travel To The Left Instead Of The Right. As I Stared At The Clock For What Seemed Like Hours, My Hopes Were For The Dream To Last Until The Time Reached To When Bobby Was Still Alive. My Dream Ended Before The Time Took Me Back To That Fateful Day. As No Surprise To Me All It Would Ever Be Was A Dream.
God Only Knows The Many Lives That Changed Because Of His Death. The Peace He Left Behind For Me Was His Plea For Me To Continue My Mission In Life. Even Though I Had Been Doing This For 25 Years He Never Actually Knew The Impact It Had On So Many Poverty Stricken People Until The Summer Of 2010. He Told Me One Very Hot Summer Day He Was Proud Of Me. He Saw Me Drenched In Sweat As I Was Unloading My Truck To A Family In Need. I Reminded Him We Should Always Give Of Ourselves To Help Those Less Fortunate. I Never Did It For The Recognition. I'd As Soon Wish To Do My Work And Steer Clear Of The Glory. I Have Never Been The Kind Of Person Who Says Look At What I Did. I Saw The Need And I Am Able To Help. I Will Continue My Mission Until I Am Unable To Perform The Labor It Requires. When That Day Arrives I Hope To Find That Right Person Who Will Have My Same Vision.
One Day As I Was Surfing The Internet I Ran Across Bobby's Old Myspace Account. As I Read His Profile It Came To The Part It Asked Who His Hero Was. He Said My Dad. Of Course I Cried After Reading It.
So Today All I Can Do Is Reflect On The 29 Years I Had With My Son. We Had Good Times And We Had Some Bad Times. All In All I Am Thankful To God For Allowing Me To Have Those 29 Years With Him. Getting To Know Him And Love Him. Sharing Common Interest That Created Memories For The Both Of Us. For Me Those Memories Will Be With Me Until The Day I Die.
So One Year Ago Today You Were On A Plane In The Sky Heading For What We All Thought Was A Better Life. As I Look Up Today I Do So In Sadness And The Pain In Missing You. However I Do Cling Onto Knowing I Was Your Hero And This Is What Motivates Me Today.
Please Lord Reserve A Spot Beside Him. Let Him Know His Hero Will Continue The Mission, Maybe Someday I Can Say Mission Completed.
I Will Always Love And Miss You My Son Bobby Joe Miller.