It Was In June Of 1995 Since I Last Went Fishing. I Really Can't Consider It A Pleasant Memory Because I Was Cited For Fishing Without A License. It Was A Last Minute Decision That Ended Up Costing Me 75.00.
I Thought It Was About Time I Took My Grandson AJ To My Favorite Places. The Ellsworth Dam Held A Lot Of Memories Through The Years. I Caught Many Fish There And I Wanted To Share That Experience With Him. Shortly After We Found Our Fishing Spot AJ Pointed Just A Few Feet Away A Yellow And Black Butterfly Resting On A Rock. Yellow And Black Were Bobby's Colors. AJ And I Both Knew That And I Thought How Appropriate At That Moment In Time For That Butterfly To be There At That Exact Moment. I Joked With AJ That His Uncle Bobby Was The Last One To Take Him Fishing And He Just Landed There To Tell Us It Was About Time I Took Him Fishing.
Of Course There Are People Who Don't Believe In Things Like That But I Do And I Find Comfort In That. That Butterfly Stayed On That Rock The Entire Time We Fished. How Touching For the Both Of Us That Bobby Kept Us Company During That Special Moment In Time. We Didn't Catch Anything That Day But Really It Didn't Matter Much To Me. I Have Caught Many Fish Through The Years. I Just Want The Thrill Of That To Be With AJ. No Better Feeling Than To Hook Into A Carp And Bring It To Shore. So Many Memories I Have Of Fishing With My Grandfather And Uncles. Enough To last A Lifetime.

I Just Recently Lost My Job. It Was In The Fall Of 1980. Our Daughter Was Only Eight Months Old. The News Of Having Another Baby Was Devastating To Us. We Had Only Planned On Having One Child. We Considered Her Our Miracle Child. The Thought Of Having Another Baby Was A Scary Feeling Because The News Of Me Losing My Job Was So Fresh In My Mind. I Know That Having A New Addition To The Family Was Suppose To Be A Joyous Occasion, Yet In The Back Of My Mind I Was Very Worried.
As The Weeks Passed We Came To Realize That This Was Suppose To Be. What We Didn't Realize Was His Time On Earth Was Limited. God Lent Him To Us For 29 Years. He Was Conceived Without Notice And He Died The Same Way.
Bobby Was Never Told He Was Not Planned. Even Though He Was Raised With Much Love I Never Wanted For Him To Think He Wasn't Planned.
After He Was  Born I Found Myself Ashamed For My Feelings Of An Unplanned Pregnancy. Our Wake Up Call Came Shortly After Birth When He Was Put In ICU For A Couple Of Days For A Lung Issue. Other Than That And Having Webbed Toes He Was A Healthy Baby. I Always Joked He Would Always Out Swim Anyone In The Family. He Began A New Tradition Because I Knew Of No One In The Family Who Had Webbed Toes. It Was Handed Down To A Couple Of His Kids And I Consider That A Good Thing. Today They Can Look Down At Their Feet And Know They Have Their Daddy's Toes.
Today Marks What Would Have Been Bobby's 33rd Birthday. July 13th Became Bobby's Favorite Number. Not Only Was It 7-13, Our House Address Was Also 713. Whenever It Came Up On The Lottery I Would Point It Out To Bobby He Should Have Bought A Ticket. Even Today I Find Myself Looking At The Pick Three Of The Lottery To See If Bobby's Number Came Up.
Bobby Was About 5 or 6 When I Purchased The Family Home So I Could Raise My Family In The Same Home As I Did Years Earlier. Growing Up On Franklin Street Had A Special Meaning. Even Though The Neighborhood Was Much Different That What It Was When I Grew Up The House Itself Held Fond Memories. Being Raised In A Large Family And A Foster Home You Never Knew How Many Would Be Sitting At The Dinner Table. However, Raising My Family Life Was Considered More Simplified. Both Kids Had Their Own Room. Neither Of Them Had To Share Much Because One Was A Girl While The Other Was A Boy.
So Today As I Reflect On Bobby's Life On Earth I Do So With A Smile. Even Though He Made Mistakes Along The Way, He Left His Legacy Through His Children. I Never Portrayed Him As A Saint. I Always Considered Him A Good Hearted Person. He Always Had Good Intentions In What Ever He Set Out To Do. The End Result May Not Have Been What He Had Wanted But He Learned The Hard Way.
You Just Can't Sum Up Someone's Life In One Blog. There Are So Many Memories Throughout The Years. Too Many To Recall. He Might Have Had A Couple Haters But For The Most Part Bobby Was Much Loved By All Who Knew Him. It Was My Hopes He Would One Day Replace Me In My Charitable Work For The Community.
I Consider Myself To Be A Christian. I Believe In Heaven. I Believe I Will Someday See Him Again. I Have Experienced Many "First", Like The First Father's Day Without Him. The First Christmas, Etc. Today Marks The Expiration Date For His Driver's License. I Have Sat And Stared Into His Grinning Face Many Times Over. Floods Of Memories Overwhelm Me. I Like Many Fathers Would Gladly Take His Place So We Can Have Him Back On Earth Again. So Sadly We All Know That Could Never happen. At Times It Doesn't Seem Real. He Can't Really Be Gone. This Was Not In Our Plans. He Was Suppose To Watch Me Grow Old. He Won't Experience The Things A Father Is Suppose To Experience. I'm Not Sure Who Feels Cheated.
There Is No Use For The Blame Game. There Are All Kinds Of Woulda, Coulda, & Shoulda's, But What's The Sense? I Know In My Heart Why He Is No Longer With Us. I Would Not Rest Until I Had All Of The Answers. At First It Was Like A Puzzle. I Would Get Information From One Place And More In Another. It Took Me Awhile Before I Had All The Pieces.
I Chose To Keep Much Of My Information To Myself So Bobby Can Rest In Peace. I Will Always Know The Truth And The Truth Has Set Me Free. It's Bobby's Memory I Will Always Hold Close To My Heart. He Was A Wonderful Son And That I Will Always Remember. I Love You My Boy. R.I.P.....7-13-81/12-29-2010..

Since It Has Been Awhile Since I Last Posted A Blog Some People May Think The Sky Is Falling. Actually The Reason For This Blog Is Two Fold. One Being The Length Between Blogs And The Lousy Weather Forecasting. I Find It Amazing How A High Paying Occupation Can Keep Getting It Wrong Time After Time.
With The Technology We Have In The 21st Century You Would Think A Weather Forecaster Could Get It Right. Apparently I Am In The Wrong Business. I Can Stand In Front Of A Weather Map And Tell You It Rained Yesterday.
The Past Two Fridays I Sat The Sale Out Because Of The Forecast. I Could Have Easily Conducted Both Sales With Little Problems Of Rain. Yet The Moment I Show Up With 30% Rain Predicted It Would Rain All Over Me. Last Friday Was A Prediction Of 50%. No Rain. This Friday Had 40% Chance For Rain. No Rain. It Get's Rather Frustrating.
As Far As My Reason For Not Blogging? I Have None. At Least Not A Good One. I Will Try To Get Back In The Swing Of Things When It Comes To Blogging.
My Summer Is Busy As Usual And The Heat Is On. It's Been Very Humid Recently. I Try To Start My Day Earlier To Beat The Heat. Sweating At 8:00 In The Morning Is Telling Of The Weather. Am I Complaining? No, Not Really. I Complained All Winter How Cold It Was. I Am A Warm Weather Person. My Sweat Rag And I Are Best Friends. We Go Almost Everywhere Together.
I Am Bowling On A 13 Week Summer League. We Have Been In First Place Since Week One. We have A Good Team And It Is My Hopes We Can Finish In First. Last Year We Finished In Second With The Same Faces As Last.
Ok, It's Safe To Look Up Because The Sky Is Not Falling After All. It's Just A Long Over Due Blog.

My First Sugar Cookie

I Had No Idea Her Name At The Time But I Referred To Her As The Cookie Lady. When Children Accompanied Their Parents To Arnholt Bakery They Were Given A Sugar Cookie. It Was Just A Couple Years Later When I Found Out The Cookie Lady Was Mary Ann Arnholt, Wife Of Jerry Arnholt, Owner Of The Establishment.
Mary Ann Passed Away On Sunday Afternoon March 9th. I Have Memories Of This Bakery Since It Was Just Two Blocks From My Family Home. On Hot Summer Nights I Would Sleep Near An Open Window. The Aroma Of Fresh Baked Bread And Bakery Goods Was A Smell I Would Always Remember That Engulf The Neighborhood.
Arnholt's Was My First Job When I Was In High School. I Would Report For Work At 5am To Fry Doughnuts Until It Was Time To Go To School. After School I Would Return To Sweep The Floor and Wash Baking Bowls, Cookie Trays And Whatever Else That Needed To Be Done Before The Next Day Of Baking.
My Condolences To The Arnholt Family At This Time For Their Loss. Thank You Mary Ann For Your Kindness In Giving A Little Boy Not Just A Cookie But A Memory For A Lifetime.

Growing Up In The Neighborhood Of Franklin School

In September Of 1961 I Became A Student Of Franklin Grade School. Even Though It Doesn't Stand Today, I Still Have The Memories Of People And Events That Took Place Both Inside And Out. My First Day In Attendance There I Realized I Had Two Mothers. My First Grade Teacher, Miss Irene Cook Was A Gentle Yet Stern Teacher. My First Memory Of Her Was When She Was Teaching Us How To Wash Our Hands. It Was My Turn And I Failed Immediately. At Home I Was Taught To Lather The Wash Cloth With Soap, Wash Yourself, Then Rinse Afterwards. I Was Quickly Corrected And Told To Lather Our Hands With A Bar Of Soap Then Rinsed By Water. Back In Those Days It Was Common For Us All To Use The Same Bar Of Soap. Of Course Since Those Days Certain Procedures Have Changed Including The Way We Wash Our Hands. So Many Germs Are Passed Onto Others Simply Because We Had Been Doing The Same Things For Hundreds Of Years.
As My Mother Has Told Me I Wanted To Wear Short Pants To School. The Teacher Didn't Have Objection To It. I Do Recall Watching Home Movies That My Mother Would Take Of The Children On The Playground. You Could Easily Point Me Out As The Only Kid Wearing Short Pants. I Suppose One Of The Most Fondest Memories I Have Is Not Of The School Itself But That Of Both Students And The Faculty Inside Of Those Old Brick Walls. Years On Top Of Years I Can Recall Memories I Hope To Share With My Readers Of My Blogs Over Time. Most Are Happy Times Yet There May Be A Couple That Will Tug At Your Heart Strings.
Even Though That Mighty Building No Longer Stands Today I Can Close My Eyes And Recall Almost Everything As If It Were Still There. One Thing Is For Certain Though. I Am Thankful That My Mother Was There With Her Camera To Capture Some Of The Special Moments At Franklin School. To Be Continued......

My Best Friend

The Winter Of 2014 Has Been Terrible. It's Been Cold. We Have Seen More Snow Than We Care To. If It Weren't For Bowling I Would Be Pulling My Hair Out.
Before I Forget To Mention It Yes I Know It's Been More Than A Month Since I Last Posted A Blog. It Seems Every Year At This Time I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything. Depression Sets In And I Just Want To Get Going Again In My Truck For The New Season.
Whether I Have A Good Day Or A Bad One My Best Friend Cassie Is Always At Home To Greet Me When I Get There.
It Kind Of Reminds Me Of The Story Of If You Were To Put Your Wife And Your Dog In The Trunk Of Your Car And Then Take A Nice Drive In The Country. You Stop, Then Open The Trunk. Which One Would Most Likely Be The Happiest To See You?
Cassie Is A Wonderful Dog. Did I Say Dog? Please Don't Tell Her I Called Her That.
I Think You Get The Picture. She's A Wonderful Friend. I'm Glad She Is In My Life.

Oh How I Miss It....

Did You Grow Up With A Junk Drawer? If You Couldn't Find Something You Would Find Yourself Hollering, Where Is....? Check The Junk Drawer. Everything In The Kitchen Seem To Have It's Place. If There Was Something You Wasn't Sure Where It Went, Put It In The Junk Drawer. All Kinds Of Cool Stuff Was In There. There Was String, Tape, Batteries, Pens, Pencils, Scissors, Etc. You Have To Check It Often Because You Never Know What Kind Of Goodies Will Be In There.
I Don't Recall Having A Junk Drawer After I Left Home. I'm Not Sure If My Parents Have Kept Up With The Junk Drawer. If They Have I Sure Wouldn't Mind Checking It Out Sometime.

Acceptance

I Just Finished Watching A Movie About A Young Boy Who Was New At The School. He Wanted To Learn But His Father Thought It Was A Waste Of Time. Maybe It Was Because His Father Never Achieved What This Young Boy Yearned For. This Boy's Teacher Gave Him A Dictionary That Once Belonged To Her Son. By Learning New Words In His Mind Was Taking A Journey. It Makes Sense One Would Think That Way.
Anyway This Young Boy Would Flip Through The Pages And Learn New Words And What They Mean. He Entered A Spelling Bee At His School. Long Story Short, His Father Walked Into The School When The Contest Dwindled Down To Two Spellers. The Young Boy Won The Contest. It Made It More Special Because The Young Boy Knew His Father Watched Him Win. A Proud Moment For The Both Of Them.
Of Course This Is Just One Instance Of Wanting Acceptance From Your Parent. Some Spend A Lifetime Searching For It. Some Never Find It.
It's An Inspiration Being A Parent. It's A Bigger Inspiration If You Are A Good Parent. Always Acknowledge Your Child's Accomplishments. It Would Mean A Lot More Than You Could Ever Imagine.
So The Young Boy Impressed His Father After Winning The Spelling Bee. He Didn't Have To Spend A Lifetime Searching For Acceptance. A Happy Ending To His Story.

Today Is The Last Day Of 2013. Before I Go Any Further Into This How Many Of You Say Twenty Thirteen? I Have Noticed The News Media Recently Been Saying This. I Suppose I Am Old Fashioned Because I Continue To Refer It By Two Thousand Thirteen. I'm Sure I Will Come Around Eventually In Saying What Is Politically Correct.
I Don't Believe Anything Earth Shattering Has Taken Place In My Personal Life In The Year 2013. No New Years Resolution From Me. There Are Some Things I Would Like To Accomplish In The Coming Year. However, If I Say It In A Form Of A Resolution It May Make Me Feel I Failed In My Attempts. So Yes I Have Hopes And Dreams In The New Year But I Think I Will Keep It To Myself.
Changing From One Year To Another Is Simply A Measurement Of Time. Tomorrow Will Be Pretty Much The Same As Today. Weather Wise Or Otherwise. Of Course There Will Be Those Moments We Can Mark On Our Calendars As A Day To Remember For One Reason Or The Other. One Year From Today I Will Be Looking Back At The Happenings Of The Year 2014. Hopefully All My Close Friends And Family Will Still Be Around. As We All Know Nothing Has Ever Been Guaranteed To Us.
If There Is Only One Thing I Have Learned Throughout My Years Is That Life Is Short. Yes I Have Heard This Phrase Numerous Times Over The Years But It Really Never Sunk In. My Defining Moment Was When I Lost My Son Bobby To Suicide. The News Of His Death Hit Us Like A Ton Of Bricks. We Didn't See It Coming. As In Most Unexpected Deaths There Comes A Lot Of Woulda's, Shoulda's & Coulda's. Looking Back Just Three Short Years Ago The Memory Of It Feels Like Yesterday. So I Suppose What I Am Saying Is If You Are Harboring A Grudge Against A Loved One, Let It Go. Only You Can Make That Decision. There Are People In This World I Really Don't Care For. If Something Were To Happen To Them Most Likely It Would Not Have Any Effect On Me One Way Or Another. In A Previous Blog I Mentioned I Have Forgiven Anyone Who Has Wronged Me. That Doesn't Mean I Am Going To Lunch With Them Anytime Soon. It Means My Heart Has Forgiven Them. However My Brain Tells Me To Be Cautious Of Them In The Future.
I Have No Idea How Many People Read My Blogs. I Want To Thank You For Your Readership. As I Stated In A Recent Blog You Never Know What Will Be Written Here. At One Point In Time I Stated I Would Never Write A Negative Blog. I Can No Longer Promise This. There Comes A Time When It Becomes Necessary To Declare Your Opinions On A Topic. At Times You Must Take A Stand Whether It's Popular Or Not. To Go With The Flow Is So Ever So Easy.
Of Course I Could Tell You I Will Write More Blogs In The Coming Year. I Could Also Say I Will Ride Naked On Horseback. One Or Both Would Most Likely Not Happen. I Think We Know What It Would Be.
In Our New Year I Think I Will Yawn More Just To Aggravate Those Who Can't Resist Following. Don't You Just Hate That? How About Asking Someone To Pick A Number Between One And One Hundred. When They Give Their Response Let It Be The Correct One. It Would Really Make Their Day. You Would Gasp At Their Response And Ask Them How They Knew.
Remember The Old Expression Take A Step Back And Count To Ten? It Doesn't Have To be An Old Expression. Keep It Real. God Bless.

The Power Of Forgiveness.

Have You Ever Been So Mad At Someone You Promised To Never Forgive Them? There Have Been Many Times I Have Been Angry. Being Angry Can Take A Lot Of Energy Out Of A Person.
I'm Going To Share A True Story With My Faithful Followers. Of Course I Must Change The Names To Protect The Innocent. Actually It Has Nothing To Do With Innocence. It Has Everything To Do With True Forgiveness.
The Story Begins A Handful Of Years Ago. Someone Had Lied On Me And Made Me Appear Untrustworthy. This Person Who I Had The Highest Respect For Betrayed Me. I Had Known This Person My Entire Life. What I Admired Most About This Person Was Honesty, But Most Of All, Godliness. For As Long As I Can Remember This Person Had A Deep Faith In God.
Yes I Know We Are All Sinners And God Will Forgive Us. All We Have To Do Is Ask. Sometimes As Humans, Forgiving Another Person Is Difficult. There Are Some Who Refuse To Forgive And Die With Hatred In Their Heart. I Am Not The Greatest When It Comes To Scriptures In The Bible, So Please Bear With Me. Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32tells us, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
One Night I Was Searching For Something In My Desk Drawer. Whatever It Was I Was Searching For I Quit After I Found A Photo Of This Person. My Heart Sank And Tears Began Streaming Down My Cheeks. I Knew The Truth. God Knew The Truth. This Person Knew The Truth. I Had Realized It Was Serving No Justice Carrying Around All This Anger Of Betrayal. As I Held This Photo, I Put It To My Heart. I Said I Forgive You. I'm Sorry It Had Taken Me This Long. I Had An Overwhelming Feeling Come Over Me. It's Difficult To Describe. I Don't Remember Feeling Like This Ever Before. The Closest To Describing It Is When You Are Under Water And Holding Your Breath. You Reach The Surface And Begin To Breathe Again. Does That Make Sense To You?
The Following Day I Received A Telephone Call Telling Me This Special Person Had Died. Do You Suppose This Is All Coincidental? I Don't. I Have Been Shocked Numerous Times When Told Someone Had Passed. This News To Me That Day Was A Joyous One. I Knew This Person Was In Heaven. How Can You Not Smile Knowing Their Eternity Will Be With Our Lord? God Knows The Exact Date We Die. When Our Life On Earth Is Finished He Calls Us Home. I Believe That. It Also Gives Me Comfort In Knowing I Had A Part In This person's Final Day. It Drew Me Closer To God That Day.
It Also Taught Me A Lesson. Since That Day, There Has Not Been A Person On This Earth I Haven't Forgiven. I Know If I Cannot Forgive You, God Will Not Forgive Me. There Comes A Time When The Light Bulb Comes On And I Finally "Get It". The Power Of Forgiveness Is A Key To Heavens Gate.