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I Just Recently Lost My Job. It Was In The Fall Of 1980. Our Daughter Was Only Eight Months Old. The News Of Having Another Baby Was Devastating To Us. We Had Only Planned On Having One Child. We Considered Her Our Miracle Child. The Thought Of Having Another Baby Was A Scary Feeling Because The News Of Me Losing My Job Was So Fresh In My Mind. I Know That Having A New Addition To The Family Was Suppose To Be A Joyous Occasion, Yet In The Back Of My Mind I Was Very Worried.
As The Weeks Passed We Came To Realize That This Was Suppose To Be. What We Didn't Realize Was His Time On Earth Was Limited. God Lent Him To Us For 29 Years. He Was Conceived Without Notice And He Died The Same Way.
Bobby Was Never Told He Was Not Planned. Even Though He Was Raised With Much Love I Never Wanted For Him To Think He Wasn't Planned.
After He Was  Born I Found Myself Ashamed For My Feelings Of An Unplanned Pregnancy. Our Wake Up Call Came Shortly After Birth When He Was Put In ICU For A Couple Of Days For A Lung Issue. Other Than That And Having Webbed Toes He Was A Healthy Baby. I Always Joked He Would Always Out Swim Anyone In The Family. He Began A New Tradition Because I Knew Of No One In The Family Who Had Webbed Toes. It Was Handed Down To A Couple Of His Kids And I Consider That A Good Thing. Today They Can Look Down At Their Feet And Know They Have Their Daddy's Toes.
Today Marks What Would Have Been Bobby's 33rd Birthday. July 13th Became Bobby's Favorite Number. Not Only Was It 7-13, Our House Address Was Also 713. Whenever It Came Up On The Lottery I Would Point It Out To Bobby He Should Have Bought A Ticket. Even Today I Find Myself Looking At The Pick Three Of The Lottery To See If Bobby's Number Came Up.
Bobby Was About 5 or 6 When I Purchased The Family Home So I Could Raise My Family In The Same Home As I Did Years Earlier. Growing Up On Franklin Street Had A Special Meaning. Even Though The Neighborhood Was Much Different That What It Was When I Grew Up The House Itself Held Fond Memories. Being Raised In A Large Family And A Foster Home You Never Knew How Many Would Be Sitting At The Dinner Table. However, Raising My Family Life Was Considered More Simplified. Both Kids Had Their Own Room. Neither Of Them Had To Share Much Because One Was A Girl While The Other Was A Boy.
So Today As I Reflect On Bobby's Life On Earth I Do So With A Smile. Even Though He Made Mistakes Along The Way, He Left His Legacy Through His Children. I Never Portrayed Him As A Saint. I Always Considered Him A Good Hearted Person. He Always Had Good Intentions In What Ever He Set Out To Do. The End Result May Not Have Been What He Had Wanted But He Learned The Hard Way.
You Just Can't Sum Up Someone's Life In One Blog. There Are So Many Memories Throughout The Years. Too Many To Recall. He Might Have Had A Couple Haters But For The Most Part Bobby Was Much Loved By All Who Knew Him. It Was My Hopes He Would One Day Replace Me In My Charitable Work For The Community.
I Consider Myself To Be A Christian. I Believe In Heaven. I Believe I Will Someday See Him Again. I Have Experienced Many "First", Like The First Father's Day Without Him. The First Christmas, Etc. Today Marks The Expiration Date For His Driver's License. I Have Sat And Stared Into His Grinning Face Many Times Over. Floods Of Memories Overwhelm Me. I Like Many Fathers Would Gladly Take His Place So We Can Have Him Back On Earth Again. So Sadly We All Know That Could Never happen. At Times It Doesn't Seem Real. He Can't Really Be Gone. This Was Not In Our Plans. He Was Suppose To Watch Me Grow Old. He Won't Experience The Things A Father Is Suppose To Experience. I'm Not Sure Who Feels Cheated.
There Is No Use For The Blame Game. There Are All Kinds Of Woulda, Coulda, & Shoulda's, But What's The Sense? I Know In My Heart Why He Is No Longer With Us. I Would Not Rest Until I Had All Of The Answers. At First It Was Like A Puzzle. I Would Get Information From One Place And More In Another. It Took Me Awhile Before I Had All The Pieces.
I Chose To Keep Much Of My Information To Myself So Bobby Can Rest In Peace. I Will Always Know The Truth And The Truth Has Set Me Free. It's Bobby's Memory I Will Always Hold Close To My Heart. He Was A Wonderful Son And That I Will Always Remember. I Love You My Boy. R.I.P.....7-13-81/12-29-2010..