Is there anyone who reads this?

Test

 test

Bobby.....

Dates We Remember. It's Because They Stand Out More Than Any Other. It Could Be A Birthday, Anniversary, A Piece Of Time That Stands Out Like No Other.
Today Is One Of Those Days. On The 29th Of December 2010 My Son Bobby Joe Miller Passed This Life And Crossed Over To The Other Side. He Was 29 Years Old The Day Of His Passing.
I Miss Bobby As Much Today As The Day I First Lost Him. I Have Never Portrayed Him As A Saint And I Never Will. He Had His Struggles In Life Like Many Of Us Do. In Spite Of His Shortcomings He Was A Good Decent Person Who Had A Heart Of Gold. His Ambition In Life Was To Make His Family Proud One Day. That Day Came And Stayed With Me When He Told Me He Would One Day Take The Reins Of The Robin Hood Foundation Of Danville And Continue The Mission In Helping Those Less Fortunate. Bobby Wasn't A Religious Man Yet I Shared With Him About The Scriptures In The Bible And What Our Responsibilities Were As Christians In Helping The Poor.
The Bible Instructs Us To Help The Poor In Deuteronomy 15:7-11, “There Will Always Be Poor Among-st Us. For The Lord Will Prosper You In Everything You Do For Them". This Verse Has Helped The Ministry Of Our Organization Primarily Because Of Strong Christianity.
Bobby Left Behind Four Beautiful Children. I Love Them All So Dearly. If This Was His Only Legacy He Left Behind For Us To Remember Him, Then Through The Eyes Of Those Precious Souls He Will Live On Forever In My Heart.
As His Father I Loved Him Unconditionally. He Had His Faults And Made Plenty Of Mistakes Along The Way. I However Saw The Good In Him And Always Hoped He Would One Day Walk The Straight And Narrow Path That Was Laid In Front Of Him.
I Have Photo's And Video's To Remember Him By. So Much Sand Has Passed Through The Hourglass. I Have Yet To Visit Him At The Cemetery With Any One Else. I Have Always Considered It My Sacred Moment With Him. Even Though It's Just His Flesh In The Ground, The Visit I Suppose Is For My Own Grievance. Because I Am A Believer I Have No Doubt He Is With My Lord And Savior. In Spite Of What Others May Feel I Trust My Lord And Know Within My Heart He Led Him Through The Gates Of Paradise For Everlasting Life.
I Often Speak To Bobby. I'm Not Sure If That Is Normal Or Not But Frankly I Don't Care. Everytime 713 Comes Onto My Clock And My Attention Is Drawn To It I Use That Entire Minute And Tell Him I Miss Him And Love Him And Wish He Was Still Around. The Significance Behind Those Numbers Was Because He Was Born On July 13th. His Childhood Address And Mine Was 713. I Remembered Each Time It Would Come Up On The Lottery I Would Bring His Attention To It. He Would Say Yep I Should Have Played Those Numbers. It's My Only Dream In Bowling. Not To Roll A Perfect Game But To Roll A 713 Series Of Three Games. That Equals About A 237 Game Times 3.
So Again As I Take Time To Reflect On The Life Of My Son I Will With A Smile. I Refuse To Remember Him In Death. I Will Remember Him For The Good He Had Done And The Memories He Left Behind. So Yes This Day Brings Some Sadness Because I Miss Him So Much. Yet On The Other Hand I Am Thankful For The 29 Years God Gave Him To Us And The Times We Shared. From The Day Of His Birth To The Date Of His Death. The Blessings Of The Moments Between Gave My A Lifetime And A Heart Full Of Great Memories. I Will Love You Until My Last Breath And Beyond.

The Emptiness Over The Holiday

I Call It Christmas Distraction. I Am Sure There Are More Proper Names For It. It Happens Around The Holiday Season. You Miss A Loved One Because They Are No Longer With Us.
The Day After Christmas Cannot Come Fast Enough For Me. I Have Heard Others Say This Over The Years But Could Not Fully Comprehend It Until Bobby Passed Away. If It Were Left Up To Me I Would Just As Soon Skip Christmas This Year And Every Year After That. Yet I Have Been Reminded Time After Time That I Have Grandchildren Who Look Forward To Christmas. There Are Too Many Christmas's Past That Come To Mind When Bobby Was Still With Us. I Didn't Have The Opportunity To Spend His Last Christmas Together. He Had Already Moved To Florida. All I Have Are The Christmas Moments Of The Past. I Do Have Some Photo's Of His Last Christmas In Florida. Even Though I Didn't Get To See Him On This Day, I Know He Made A Little Girl's Christmas A Very Special One.
I Would Love To Have That Special Teddy Bear He Made For That Little Girl. I Often Wonder If It's Sitting In A Toy Box Someplace. Maybe At A Goodwill Store. He Helped Stuff And Sew This Bear For A Little Girl. I Hope She Understands The Importance Of This Bear.
There Will Be No More Christmas's With Bobby. My Heart Aches Today As Much As It Did When We First Lost Him In December Of 2010. That Time Is So Vivid Yet Blurry. There Are Moments I Don't Want To Remember Because It's Too Painful.
So Now I Can Truly Understand Why Some People Are No Longer Joyful In The Holiday Season. If You Know One Of These People Please Remember Them In Prayer. I Cannot Recommend Anything Else Because Everyone Is Different In Their Grief. Some Don't Need Or Want Reminders There Is Someone Missing This Christmas Season.
I Have Already Read This Evening On Facebook Where Someone Is Missing Their Mother This Christmas Season. The Pain Is Still There. There Will Always Be Pain. Yes I Suppose I Will Put That Happy Smile On My Face Over The Next Couple Of Weeks But Be Assured It's Phoney.
Let It Be Known This Is A World Wide Birthday Bash For Our Savior Lord. For He Knows My Heart And Understands My Pain. So Happy Birthday Jesus. For You Are The Reason For The Season.

The Lady In Red

You Will Get Use To Some Of The Names In My Writings As You Read Them In Future Blogs. My Brother Tuck And I Attended A Play At A Local Church Last Sunday Night. The Play Was About A Family Who Loved To Listen To The Radio Around The Times Of WW2. It Was An Ok Performance, I Have Seen Better. Overall Though I Enjoyed Going And It Gave My Brother And I A Memory. You Will Notice In Some Of My Blogs I Will Make Mention Of Creating Memories. I Think That Is One Of The Most Important Things A Person Can Do In Their Life. Create Memories. You Create Them With People You Love Or Enjoy Being Around. I Often Sit Back And Reminisce Of Times Of The Past With My Grandpa. Memories Of My Grade School Days. How About Anything That Brings A Smile To Your Face?
Anyway Back To The Play. There Was A Choir That Sang In Different Segments Of This Play. The Gentlemen And Women Wore Clothing They Wore Back In The 1940's. Everybody In That Choir Had A Songbook With The Exception Of The Lady In Red. She Was An Elderly Woman And My Eyes Were Focussed On Her Lips. She Didn't Need A Song Book. She Mouthed Every Word Correctly Where You Would See She Didn't Miss A Word. Yet The Others Would Glance In The Book To Be Sure Of The Correct Words.
So The Play Was Focussed On The Day Surrounding The Bombing Of Pearl Harbor And The Effects It Had On This Particular Family.
I Seen Some Friends I Hadn't Seen For A Few Years. I Consider Myself A Controlled Fellowshipper.(Is There Such A Word?). I Decide Whether Or Not I Approach The Individual. If I Choose Not To It's Not A Bad Thing. Maybe I Have A Good Show Coming On At 9pm And Only Have Ten Minutes To Get There. Quickly I will Include My Dress Attire Was Some What Questionable. I Asked Tuck Prior The Suggested Dress For The Evening. He Told Me He Was Going To Sit In The Balcony. I Wore A Nice pair Of Jeans And A New Sweatshirt. I Knew They Were Going To Recognize All Of The Veterans. I Thought Maybe They Would Ask Them To Stand. Wrong! They Asked The To Come Forward And Our Mayor Said A Few Remarks And Declared That Date To Be For Those Who Served.
I Stayed Back Because Of How I Was Dressed. After Looking At These Veterans Who In My Opinion Were Not Dressed As Well As I Was, I Knew I Should Have Come Forward. I Will Be The First To Admit That It's Difficult To Adapt To The 21st Century. We Are Almost 15 Years Into It And I Still Have The Old Fashioned Way Of Thinking. Maybe I Am Getting Old. They Say Age Is Just A Number. I Do Agree With That. I Think The One Thing That Bothers Me The Most About Getting Old Is When You Are Registering For Something On These Computers And It Asked For The Year You Were Born. It Has A Window You Can Click On And It Gives You The Year In Which You Were Born. It's Very Depressing When You Have To Keep Scrolling To Get To The Year You Were Born.
To The Lady In Red; If You Ever Read This Blog, which I Highly Doubt That You Will, I Want To Tell You I Enjoyed Watching You Sing Those Christmas Songs Without The Assistance Of The Song Book. I Think That Impressed Me The Most.....Mac

It Was In June Of 1995 Since I Last Went Fishing. I Really Can't Consider It A Pleasant Memory Because I Was Cited For Fishing Without A License. It Was A Last Minute Decision That Ended Up Costing Me 75.00.
I Thought It Was About Time I Took My Grandson AJ To My Favorite Places. The Ellsworth Dam Held A Lot Of Memories Through The Years. I Caught Many Fish There And I Wanted To Share That Experience With Him. Shortly After We Found Our Fishing Spot AJ Pointed Just A Few Feet Away A Yellow And Black Butterfly Resting On A Rock. Yellow And Black Were Bobby's Colors. AJ And I Both Knew That And I Thought How Appropriate At That Moment In Time For That Butterfly To be There At That Exact Moment. I Joked With AJ That His Uncle Bobby Was The Last One To Take Him Fishing And He Just Landed There To Tell Us It Was About Time I Took Him Fishing.
Of Course There Are People Who Don't Believe In Things Like That But I Do And I Find Comfort In That. That Butterfly Stayed On That Rock The Entire Time We Fished. How Touching For the Both Of Us That Bobby Kept Us Company During That Special Moment In Time. We Didn't Catch Anything That Day But Really It Didn't Matter Much To Me. I Have Caught Many Fish Through The Years. I Just Want The Thrill Of That To Be With AJ. No Better Feeling Than To Hook Into A Carp And Bring It To Shore. So Many Memories I Have Of Fishing With My Grandfather And Uncles. Enough To last A Lifetime.

I Just Recently Lost My Job. It Was In The Fall Of 1980. Our Daughter Was Only Eight Months Old. The News Of Having Another Baby Was Devastating To Us. We Had Only Planned On Having One Child. We Considered Her Our Miracle Child. The Thought Of Having Another Baby Was A Scary Feeling Because The News Of Me Losing My Job Was So Fresh In My Mind. I Know That Having A New Addition To The Family Was Suppose To Be A Joyous Occasion, Yet In The Back Of My Mind I Was Very Worried.
As The Weeks Passed We Came To Realize That This Was Suppose To Be. What We Didn't Realize Was His Time On Earth Was Limited. God Lent Him To Us For 29 Years. He Was Conceived Without Notice And He Died The Same Way.
Bobby Was Never Told He Was Not Planned. Even Though He Was Raised With Much Love I Never Wanted For Him To Think He Wasn't Planned.
After He Was  Born I Found Myself Ashamed For My Feelings Of An Unplanned Pregnancy. Our Wake Up Call Came Shortly After Birth When He Was Put In ICU For A Couple Of Days For A Lung Issue. Other Than That And Having Webbed Toes He Was A Healthy Baby. I Always Joked He Would Always Out Swim Anyone In The Family. He Began A New Tradition Because I Knew Of No One In The Family Who Had Webbed Toes. It Was Handed Down To A Couple Of His Kids And I Consider That A Good Thing. Today They Can Look Down At Their Feet And Know They Have Their Daddy's Toes.
Today Marks What Would Have Been Bobby's 33rd Birthday. July 13th Became Bobby's Favorite Number. Not Only Was It 7-13, Our House Address Was Also 713. Whenever It Came Up On The Lottery I Would Point It Out To Bobby He Should Have Bought A Ticket. Even Today I Find Myself Looking At The Pick Three Of The Lottery To See If Bobby's Number Came Up.
Bobby Was About 5 or 6 When I Purchased The Family Home So I Could Raise My Family In The Same Home As I Did Years Earlier. Growing Up On Franklin Street Had A Special Meaning. Even Though The Neighborhood Was Much Different That What It Was When I Grew Up The House Itself Held Fond Memories. Being Raised In A Large Family And A Foster Home You Never Knew How Many Would Be Sitting At The Dinner Table. However, Raising My Family Life Was Considered More Simplified. Both Kids Had Their Own Room. Neither Of Them Had To Share Much Because One Was A Girl While The Other Was A Boy.
So Today As I Reflect On Bobby's Life On Earth I Do So With A Smile. Even Though He Made Mistakes Along The Way, He Left His Legacy Through His Children. I Never Portrayed Him As A Saint. I Always Considered Him A Good Hearted Person. He Always Had Good Intentions In What Ever He Set Out To Do. The End Result May Not Have Been What He Had Wanted But He Learned The Hard Way.
You Just Can't Sum Up Someone's Life In One Blog. There Are So Many Memories Throughout The Years. Too Many To Recall. He Might Have Had A Couple Haters But For The Most Part Bobby Was Much Loved By All Who Knew Him. It Was My Hopes He Would One Day Replace Me In My Charitable Work For The Community.
I Consider Myself To Be A Christian. I Believe In Heaven. I Believe I Will Someday See Him Again. I Have Experienced Many "First", Like The First Father's Day Without Him. The First Christmas, Etc. Today Marks The Expiration Date For His Driver's License. I Have Sat And Stared Into His Grinning Face Many Times Over. Floods Of Memories Overwhelm Me. I Like Many Fathers Would Gladly Take His Place So We Can Have Him Back On Earth Again. So Sadly We All Know That Could Never happen. At Times It Doesn't Seem Real. He Can't Really Be Gone. This Was Not In Our Plans. He Was Suppose To Watch Me Grow Old. He Won't Experience The Things A Father Is Suppose To Experience. I'm Not Sure Who Feels Cheated.
There Is No Use For The Blame Game. There Are All Kinds Of Woulda, Coulda, & Shoulda's, But What's The Sense? I Know In My Heart Why He Is No Longer With Us. I Would Not Rest Until I Had All Of The Answers. At First It Was Like A Puzzle. I Would Get Information From One Place And More In Another. It Took Me Awhile Before I Had All The Pieces.
I Chose To Keep Much Of My Information To Myself So Bobby Can Rest In Peace. I Will Always Know The Truth And The Truth Has Set Me Free. It's Bobby's Memory I Will Always Hold Close To My Heart. He Was A Wonderful Son And That I Will Always Remember. I Love You My Boy. R.I.P.....7-13-81/12-29-2010..

Since It Has Been Awhile Since I Last Posted A Blog Some People May Think The Sky Is Falling. Actually The Reason For This Blog Is Two Fold. One Being The Length Between Blogs And The Lousy Weather Forecasting. I Find It Amazing How A High Paying Occupation Can Keep Getting It Wrong Time After Time.
With The Technology We Have In The 21st Century You Would Think A Weather Forecaster Could Get It Right. Apparently I Am In The Wrong Business. I Can Stand In Front Of A Weather Map And Tell You It Rained Yesterday.
The Past Two Fridays I Sat The Sale Out Because Of The Forecast. I Could Have Easily Conducted Both Sales With Little Problems Of Rain. Yet The Moment I Show Up With 30% Rain Predicted It Would Rain All Over Me. Last Friday Was A Prediction Of 50%. No Rain. This Friday Had 40% Chance For Rain. No Rain. It Get's Rather Frustrating.
As Far As My Reason For Not Blogging? I Have None. At Least Not A Good One. I Will Try To Get Back In The Swing Of Things When It Comes To Blogging.
My Summer Is Busy As Usual And The Heat Is On. It's Been Very Humid Recently. I Try To Start My Day Earlier To Beat The Heat. Sweating At 8:00 In The Morning Is Telling Of The Weather. Am I Complaining? No, Not Really. I Complained All Winter How Cold It Was. I Am A Warm Weather Person. My Sweat Rag And I Are Best Friends. We Go Almost Everywhere Together.
I Am Bowling On A 13 Week Summer League. We Have Been In First Place Since Week One. We have A Good Team And It Is My Hopes We Can Finish In First. Last Year We Finished In Second With The Same Faces As Last.
Ok, It's Safe To Look Up Because The Sky Is Not Falling After All. It's Just A Long Over Due Blog.

My First Sugar Cookie

I Had No Idea Her Name At The Time But I Referred To Her As The Cookie Lady. When Children Accompanied Their Parents To Arnholt Bakery They Were Given A Sugar Cookie. It Was Just A Couple Years Later When I Found Out The Cookie Lady Was Mary Ann Arnholt, Wife Of Jerry Arnholt, Owner Of The Establishment.
Mary Ann Passed Away On Sunday Afternoon March 9th. I Have Memories Of This Bakery Since It Was Just Two Blocks From My Family Home. On Hot Summer Nights I Would Sleep Near An Open Window. The Aroma Of Fresh Baked Bread And Bakery Goods Was A Smell I Would Always Remember That Engulf The Neighborhood.
Arnholt's Was My First Job When I Was In High School. I Would Report For Work At 5am To Fry Doughnuts Until It Was Time To Go To School. After School I Would Return To Sweep The Floor and Wash Baking Bowls, Cookie Trays And Whatever Else That Needed To Be Done Before The Next Day Of Baking.
My Condolences To The Arnholt Family At This Time For Their Loss. Thank You Mary Ann For Your Kindness In Giving A Little Boy Not Just A Cookie But A Memory For A Lifetime.

Growing Up In The Neighborhood Of Franklin School

In September Of 1961 I Became A Student Of Franklin Grade School. Even Though It Doesn't Stand Today, I Still Have The Memories Of People And Events That Took Place Both Inside And Out. My First Day In Attendance There I Realized I Had Two Mothers. My First Grade Teacher, Miss Irene Cook Was A Gentle Yet Stern Teacher. My First Memory Of Her Was When She Was Teaching Us How To Wash Our Hands. It Was My Turn And I Failed Immediately. At Home I Was Taught To Lather The Wash Cloth With Soap, Wash Yourself, Then Rinse Afterwards. I Was Quickly Corrected And Told To Lather Our Hands With A Bar Of Soap Then Rinsed By Water. Back In Those Days It Was Common For Us All To Use The Same Bar Of Soap. Of Course Since Those Days Certain Procedures Have Changed Including The Way We Wash Our Hands. So Many Germs Are Passed Onto Others Simply Because We Had Been Doing The Same Things For Hundreds Of Years.
As My Mother Has Told Me I Wanted To Wear Short Pants To School. The Teacher Didn't Have Objection To It. I Do Recall Watching Home Movies That My Mother Would Take Of The Children On The Playground. You Could Easily Point Me Out As The Only Kid Wearing Short Pants. I Suppose One Of The Most Fondest Memories I Have Is Not Of The School Itself But That Of Both Students And The Faculty Inside Of Those Old Brick Walls. Years On Top Of Years I Can Recall Memories I Hope To Share With My Readers Of My Blogs Over Time. Most Are Happy Times Yet There May Be A Couple That Will Tug At Your Heart Strings.
Even Though That Mighty Building No Longer Stands Today I Can Close My Eyes And Recall Almost Everything As If It Were Still There. One Thing Is For Certain Though. I Am Thankful That My Mother Was There With Her Camera To Capture Some Of The Special Moments At Franklin School. To Be Continued......

My Best Friend

The Winter Of 2014 Has Been Terrible. It's Been Cold. We Have Seen More Snow Than We Care To. If It Weren't For Bowling I Would Be Pulling My Hair Out.
Before I Forget To Mention It Yes I Know It's Been More Than A Month Since I Last Posted A Blog. It Seems Every Year At This Time I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything. Depression Sets In And I Just Want To Get Going Again In My Truck For The New Season.
Whether I Have A Good Day Or A Bad One My Best Friend Cassie Is Always At Home To Greet Me When I Get There.
It Kind Of Reminds Me Of The Story Of If You Were To Put Your Wife And Your Dog In The Trunk Of Your Car And Then Take A Nice Drive In The Country. You Stop, Then Open The Trunk. Which One Would Most Likely Be The Happiest To See You?
Cassie Is A Wonderful Dog. Did I Say Dog? Please Don't Tell Her I Called Her That.
I Think You Get The Picture. She's A Wonderful Friend. I'm Glad She Is In My Life.

Oh How I Miss It....

Did You Grow Up With A Junk Drawer? If You Couldn't Find Something You Would Find Yourself Hollering, Where Is....? Check The Junk Drawer. Everything In The Kitchen Seem To Have It's Place. If There Was Something You Wasn't Sure Where It Went, Put It In The Junk Drawer. All Kinds Of Cool Stuff Was In There. There Was String, Tape, Batteries, Pens, Pencils, Scissors, Etc. You Have To Check It Often Because You Never Know What Kind Of Goodies Will Be In There.
I Don't Recall Having A Junk Drawer After I Left Home. I'm Not Sure If My Parents Have Kept Up With The Junk Drawer. If They Have I Sure Wouldn't Mind Checking It Out Sometime.

Acceptance

I Just Finished Watching A Movie About A Young Boy Who Was New At The School. He Wanted To Learn But His Father Thought It Was A Waste Of Time. Maybe It Was Because His Father Never Achieved What This Young Boy Yearned For. This Boy's Teacher Gave Him A Dictionary That Once Belonged To Her Son. By Learning New Words In His Mind Was Taking A Journey. It Makes Sense One Would Think That Way.
Anyway This Young Boy Would Flip Through The Pages And Learn New Words And What They Mean. He Entered A Spelling Bee At His School. Long Story Short, His Father Walked Into The School When The Contest Dwindled Down To Two Spellers. The Young Boy Won The Contest. It Made It More Special Because The Young Boy Knew His Father Watched Him Win. A Proud Moment For The Both Of Them.
Of Course This Is Just One Instance Of Wanting Acceptance From Your Parent. Some Spend A Lifetime Searching For It. Some Never Find It.
It's An Inspiration Being A Parent. It's A Bigger Inspiration If You Are A Good Parent. Always Acknowledge Your Child's Accomplishments. It Would Mean A Lot More Than You Could Ever Imagine.
So The Young Boy Impressed His Father After Winning The Spelling Bee. He Didn't Have To Spend A Lifetime Searching For Acceptance. A Happy Ending To His Story.

Today Is The Last Day Of 2013. Before I Go Any Further Into This How Many Of You Say Twenty Thirteen? I Have Noticed The News Media Recently Been Saying This. I Suppose I Am Old Fashioned Because I Continue To Refer It By Two Thousand Thirteen. I'm Sure I Will Come Around Eventually In Saying What Is Politically Correct.
I Don't Believe Anything Earth Shattering Has Taken Place In My Personal Life In The Year 2013. No New Years Resolution From Me. There Are Some Things I Would Like To Accomplish In The Coming Year. However, If I Say It In A Form Of A Resolution It May Make Me Feel I Failed In My Attempts. So Yes I Have Hopes And Dreams In The New Year But I Think I Will Keep It To Myself.
Changing From One Year To Another Is Simply A Measurement Of Time. Tomorrow Will Be Pretty Much The Same As Today. Weather Wise Or Otherwise. Of Course There Will Be Those Moments We Can Mark On Our Calendars As A Day To Remember For One Reason Or The Other. One Year From Today I Will Be Looking Back At The Happenings Of The Year 2014. Hopefully All My Close Friends And Family Will Still Be Around. As We All Know Nothing Has Ever Been Guaranteed To Us.
If There Is Only One Thing I Have Learned Throughout My Years Is That Life Is Short. Yes I Have Heard This Phrase Numerous Times Over The Years But It Really Never Sunk In. My Defining Moment Was When I Lost My Son Bobby To Suicide. The News Of His Death Hit Us Like A Ton Of Bricks. We Didn't See It Coming. As In Most Unexpected Deaths There Comes A Lot Of Woulda's, Shoulda's & Coulda's. Looking Back Just Three Short Years Ago The Memory Of It Feels Like Yesterday. So I Suppose What I Am Saying Is If You Are Harboring A Grudge Against A Loved One, Let It Go. Only You Can Make That Decision. There Are People In This World I Really Don't Care For. If Something Were To Happen To Them Most Likely It Would Not Have Any Effect On Me One Way Or Another. In A Previous Blog I Mentioned I Have Forgiven Anyone Who Has Wronged Me. That Doesn't Mean I Am Going To Lunch With Them Anytime Soon. It Means My Heart Has Forgiven Them. However My Brain Tells Me To Be Cautious Of Them In The Future.
I Have No Idea How Many People Read My Blogs. I Want To Thank You For Your Readership. As I Stated In A Recent Blog You Never Know What Will Be Written Here. At One Point In Time I Stated I Would Never Write A Negative Blog. I Can No Longer Promise This. There Comes A Time When It Becomes Necessary To Declare Your Opinions On A Topic. At Times You Must Take A Stand Whether It's Popular Or Not. To Go With The Flow Is So Ever So Easy.
Of Course I Could Tell You I Will Write More Blogs In The Coming Year. I Could Also Say I Will Ride Naked On Horseback. One Or Both Would Most Likely Not Happen. I Think We Know What It Would Be.
In Our New Year I Think I Will Yawn More Just To Aggravate Those Who Can't Resist Following. Don't You Just Hate That? How About Asking Someone To Pick A Number Between One And One Hundred. When They Give Their Response Let It Be The Correct One. It Would Really Make Their Day. You Would Gasp At Their Response And Ask Them How They Knew.
Remember The Old Expression Take A Step Back And Count To Ten? It Doesn't Have To be An Old Expression. Keep It Real. God Bless.

The Power Of Forgiveness.

Have You Ever Been So Mad At Someone You Promised To Never Forgive Them? There Have Been Many Times I Have Been Angry. Being Angry Can Take A Lot Of Energy Out Of A Person.
I'm Going To Share A True Story With My Faithful Followers. Of Course I Must Change The Names To Protect The Innocent. Actually It Has Nothing To Do With Innocence. It Has Everything To Do With True Forgiveness.
The Story Begins A Handful Of Years Ago. Someone Had Lied On Me And Made Me Appear Untrustworthy. This Person Who I Had The Highest Respect For Betrayed Me. I Had Known This Person My Entire Life. What I Admired Most About This Person Was Honesty, But Most Of All, Godliness. For As Long As I Can Remember This Person Had A Deep Faith In God.
Yes I Know We Are All Sinners And God Will Forgive Us. All We Have To Do Is Ask. Sometimes As Humans, Forgiving Another Person Is Difficult. There Are Some Who Refuse To Forgive And Die With Hatred In Their Heart. I Am Not The Greatest When It Comes To Scriptures In The Bible, So Please Bear With Me. Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32tells us, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
One Night I Was Searching For Something In My Desk Drawer. Whatever It Was I Was Searching For I Quit After I Found A Photo Of This Person. My Heart Sank And Tears Began Streaming Down My Cheeks. I Knew The Truth. God Knew The Truth. This Person Knew The Truth. I Had Realized It Was Serving No Justice Carrying Around All This Anger Of Betrayal. As I Held This Photo, I Put It To My Heart. I Said I Forgive You. I'm Sorry It Had Taken Me This Long. I Had An Overwhelming Feeling Come Over Me. It's Difficult To Describe. I Don't Remember Feeling Like This Ever Before. The Closest To Describing It Is When You Are Under Water And Holding Your Breath. You Reach The Surface And Begin To Breathe Again. Does That Make Sense To You?
The Following Day I Received A Telephone Call Telling Me This Special Person Had Died. Do You Suppose This Is All Coincidental? I Don't. I Have Been Shocked Numerous Times When Told Someone Had Passed. This News To Me That Day Was A Joyous One. I Knew This Person Was In Heaven. How Can You Not Smile Knowing Their Eternity Will Be With Our Lord? God Knows The Exact Date We Die. When Our Life On Earth Is Finished He Calls Us Home. I Believe That. It Also Gives Me Comfort In Knowing I Had A Part In This person's Final Day. It Drew Me Closer To God That Day.
It Also Taught Me A Lesson. Since That Day, There Has Not Been A Person On This Earth I Haven't Forgiven. I Know If I Cannot Forgive You, God Will Not Forgive Me. There Comes A Time When The Light Bulb Comes On And I Finally "Get It". The Power Of Forgiveness Is A Key To Heavens Gate.

Secret Santa

It Began As Early As The First Week Of November. Christmas Movies On Hallmark, Lifetime Network As Well As Other Stations. Some Movies Are All Of The Classics We Remember While Growing Up. Others Are New To Us. However Each One Tells A Different Story.
Tonight A Christmas Movie Called Secret Santa. A Young Lady Named Jennifer Began Receiving A Christmas Card With No Post Mark. The Postman Knew Nothing Of It. Through Her Investigations Of Who Was Sending These Cards In Her Mailbox, It Turns Out To Be From A Special Childhood Friend Who Passed Away Three Years Prior. His Name Was Jack. How Could This Be? Travel Through Time As In A Quantum Leap. They Began Exchanging Cards With Touching Words Of Fondness And Love. She Knew This Would Soon End When Christmas Arrived, For This Was The Anniversary Of His Death. As Children They Would Stand At The Well And Drop A Coin And Make A Special Wish Before It Hit The Water.
When She Realized What Date It Was She Warned Him Not To Leave That Day For Anything. If He Honored Her Request He Would Stay Alive And Life Would Be Changed Forever. When Her Card Was Not Picked Up She Feared She Was Too Late. She Ran To The Well And Wished To Save Him From Death. She Jumped In The Car, Destination Unknown. A Car Accident Sends Jennifer To The Hospital. She Wakes Up On Christmas Day With Jack At Her Bedside. At That Moment Tears Began Rolling Down My Cheeks. It's December, A Month I Dread Each Year. It Had Always Been The Month Filled With Happiness And Joy. If I Was Fortunate Enough To Have Bobby Sit Beside Me Tonight, He Would Tell Me Not To Be Sad. For Almost Three Years I Have Considered December The Month Of Mourning. Instead Of Being Sad Like Bobby Would Not Want For Me, My Heart Breaks. I Have This Over Whelming Feeling Of Emptiness. I Feel Lost. I Feel Like My Heart Has Been Broken. I'm Afraid My Life Cannot Move Forward. Even Though Weeks Have Turned Into Months And Months Into Years, It Still Feels Like Yesterday. Oh Yes I Can Put On That Happy Face And Go Through All The Motions Of Life. However I Feel I Am Only Existing In Time. I Have Had My Share Of Sadness But I Feel There Is More.
I Am A Believer Of The "Bigger Picture". We All Have A Mission In Life. Our Lives With All It's Twist And Turns Sends Us To Set Out And Accomplish. I Believe There Are Many Who Do Not Fulfill Their Mission Of Life. Many Do Fulfill Without Ever Knowing They Did. It May Have Never Been About You In The First Place. We All Are In Existence For A Reason. It May Be To Influence Someone Else. It Could Be A Family Member, A Friend, Neighbor Or A Complete Stranger. Remember Hearing About Angels On Earth? Maybe Your Only Mission Of Your Being Was To Save Someone From Harm.
This Is Why I Must Continue To Look For That Bigger Picture Of Life. I Am Quite Certain God Didn't Intend To Continue Bringing Me A Lifetime Of Sadness, Or Die With A Broken Heart. There Is More To Come. I Haven't A Clue What It Is. So Through My Footsteps Of Life Maybe Joy Will Once Again Appear. I Have Been Spending A Lot Of My Time At The Bowling Alley. Will I Touch Someone There? Will I Be Touched? Maybe Through Giving To Those Living In Poverty. Not So Sure That Can Be Because It's A Never Ending Feeling To Help Someone Who Needs You. I Have Been Deeply Touched By So Many People From All Walks Of Life. So What Can It Be? Have You Ever Wondered What Your Purpose Is? You Do Believe You Have One Don't You? As The Movie Ended The Tears Continued. My Dog Cassie Came Over To Me And Put Her Head On My Leg. She Comforted Me When I Needed A Friend. It Made Me Smile. You Wanna Know Why It Made Me Smile? Because Cassie Is Here For Me. She Came To Me Shortly After Bobby Passed Away. My Sister In Law Called Me One Day And Told Me She Saw An Ad Looking For A Home For A Pug. She Thought Of Me. Ok, Now Evelyn Played A Part Of Her Mission In Life By Placing This Wonderful Dog Into My Life. Cassie Had Been In A Crate For 12 Hours A Day. Her Owner Could Not Give Her The Life She Deserved. She Just Worked Too Many Hours A Day. It Gave New Hope For Cassie And A Loving Companion For Me In My Darkest Moments. I Believe We All Need To Evaluate Our Lives And Try To Determine What Our Bigger Picture May Be. I Continue To Wait For Further Instructions For The Direction I Am Suppose To Make. I Believe The Average Person Has Many Missions In Life. Some Missions May Serve No Meaning Or Purpose. Yet Everything Happens For A Reason. We May Not Understand It At The Moment, But Sometime Along The Way It Will Become Clear.
I Suppose In Between My Missions I Have A Special Buddy Sent From Heaven, From Bobby To Comfort Me When I'm Lonely And Feeling Empty.
I Remember My Grandmother Telling Me One Day When She Was Past 90 Years Old. She Said Greg I'm Not Sure Why I'm Still Hanging Around. I'm Old And I Ache At Times. I Asked Her If Life Was Good. She Said It Was. I Told Her There Must Be More Work For Her. Why Would God Leave You Just Hanging Around If There Was No Purpose? I Believe The Lord Brings Us Home When Our Mission Is Complete.

Life's Tug Of War

We Have Known It As Kid's Game. It's A Show Of Strength And Endurance. In Most Cases There Is Always A Winner. The Ultimate Prize Is Bragging Rights. You Can Mix And Match The Players On Both Sides That Can Change The End Result. A Different Group, A Different Day Can Bring Different Results Depending On The Makeup Of Both Sides. But What If It Is No Longer A Kid's Game. I Will Be The First One To Say I Have Seen Many Grown Up People Acting Like Children. I View Myself As Quiet And Reserved. I'm Not Quick To Pass Judgement On Others Based On A Persons Opinion. To Be Quite Honest I Must Admit I Am A Bad Judge Of Character. I Always Assume Whoever It Is That I Am Speaking With Is Honest. If You Lie To Me Give Yourself A Good Pat On The Back. You Actually Accomplished Nothing. Don't Get Me Wrong I Am Not Declaring I Have Never Lied. I Cannot However Remember A Time I Lied In An Aggravated Manner That Would Or Could Cause Harm In Any Way To Another Individual. I Am Far From Perfect. I Have Made My Share Of Mistakes In Life. Probably More Than Others.

I Lost Count In The Years I Have Been Blogging. I Suppose I Can Take The Time To View Previous Blogs And Come Up With A Number. The Bottom Line Doesn't Matter To Me. Since Day 1 I Have Stated My Blogs Would Always Be Uplifting Or In A Positive Sense. There Will Be Times However When You Must Climb The Platform Of Your Soap Box And Wave Your Arms And Make Sure You Have Everybody's Attention. I Use To Be Very Vocal Of My Opinions On Various Issues. It's Been Awhile Since I Sounded Off.

If There Is Only One Thing I Have Learned About Life It Must Be That It Is Too Short. The Eyes That Are Reading This Blog Is Only A Speckle In Time. So Much Time Has Been Recorded Before Us. Time Will March On After We Depart. I Have Been Fortunate In Peeking In The Past lives Of Those Who Lived Before Me. I Have Read Days, Months & Years Of Happenings In The Life Of Those Who Take The Time To Jot It Down. Notable Entry's Of A Diary Can Not Only Be Personal It Can Be Informative. 

Each Day I Would Find A Date I Thought To Be Interesting In Some Way. I Would Post It Every Day On My Facebook Page. I Did This So I Could Share What I Felt Was Very Interesting. Taking A Trip Back In Time. Words That Were Written Long Before I Was Born. Even Though I Find Each And Every Day To Be Different Than The Other, I Chose To No Longer Share These Daily Post On My Facebook Page. I Did This Out Of Respect. Getting Into These Diaries Each Day, Turning The Pages, Contributes To More Than Just Your Normal Wear And Tear. I Learned This Early On When I Began Collecting Danville High School Yearbooks. The Oldest Book Dates Back To 1904. You Must Be Respectful Of Age. I Concluded Posting My Great Grandmother's Diaries On The Anniversary Of Her Death.

I Continue To Post Daily Writings From My Grandmother'd Diary. My Mother's Mother. I Recently Began Posting From Entries Of My Mother's Diaries. I Had Hoped I Would One Day Be Given Her Diary. I Call It The Book Of Life. An Open Book Of Names, Dates, Births, Weddings, Deaths, Etc. I Can Wander Back In The Years I Was Much Younger. Remembering The Good Times And The Bad.
Recently Someone Had Made The Comment To Me Posting From My Mother's Dairies Was Creepy. Since She Is Still Alive I Suppose This Person Didn't Think It Was Appropriate. What I Failed To Mention Was This Person Is Not My Mother's Biggest Fan. I Have Been Able To Steer Clear Of The Fallout Of This Dispute. I Try Not To Get Involved In Other People's Squabbles. I Am On Facebook Rather Often. Even Though This Person Does Not Like My Mother We Had Been Able To Be Civil To One Another In Spite Of Their Differences. When This Person Said It Was Creepy And "Others" Felt The Same. She Sent Me A Private Message Telling Me She Is Putting Me On Hide Because She Didn't Want To See These Diaries Everyday. Instead Of Just Scrolling Past Them She Decided To Eliminate My Post So She Won't Be Subjected To These Diaries. Of Course She Enjoyed My Great Grandmothers Diaries Because It Was Her Grandmother And It Brought Back Some Wonderful Memories From Her Childhood. Since She Did Not Elaborate Who These "Other's" Were I Made The Decision To Delete Her Entire Family. I Don't Need Negative People In My Life.
Even Though She Did Not Like My Mother I Kept Her As A Friend On Facebook. A Lot Of People Would Not Do This. We Never Discussed Between Us Her Reason Behind Her Dislike Of My Mother. Once Again I Try To Stay Positive In My Life. Once A Person Become Negative With Me They Are No Longer Considered A Friend Of Mine On Facebook. Unfortunately, When I Made The Decision To Block All Of Her Family I Knew There Were Some Innocent Bystanders That Are Not A Part In This "Situation". I No Longer Want To Have Any Contact With This Person Because In My Opinion She Drew First Blood With Me. We Have Managed To Remain Friends For Almost Three Years Without Incident. Just Because Of My Decision To Post My Mother's Diaries She Has Placed Me On Hide So She Won't Have To  See It Everyday. That's Fine, It's Her Facebook. If I'm On Hide She Would Not Miss Me Anyway And Life Goes On. So I Suppose I Will Be Put In The Same Group As The Crazy Family. Guess What? I Could Care Less. You Try To Be A Nice Person And You Get Criticized For Doing Something You Want To Do. I Don't Go Around And Tell People I Am Hiding Them Because I Don't Want To Read What They Post. It Is What It Is And Life Goes On. I Will Continue To Keep Positive People In My Life.
In Addition I Have Decided In The Future To Use This Blog Site As A Sounding Board. Please Don't Misunderstand Me, There Will Also Be Uplifting Blogs That You Are Use To Reading. I Have Always Been An Opinionated Person Who Enjoys Expressing My Views On Various Topics. You May See More Of That In The Future. You Will Also Notice I Eliminated The Comment Section. I Did This To Keep Some "Special" People From Throwing In Their Comments. My Words Don't Need Complimented Nor Criticized. They Are My Words. You Can Agree With Them Or Disagree. It Really Doesn't Matter To Me Either Way. What I Am Saying Is We All Have Our Minds To Think. We All Cannot Think Alike.
So In A Nutshell, You Never Know What You Are Going To Read Here. I Suggest If You Are Of Thinned Skin Maybe This Blog Spot Is Not The Place For You. It's Your Call. Have A Wonderful Day. I Know I Will.

Thanksgiving 2013

Our Family Gathered At Ryan's In Champaign. It Was A Nice Get Together. One Day It Will Be Just A Memory. It's Sad To See It That Way But It's True. Life Can Change So Quickly. We Need To Cherish Each Moment We Have To Be Together. Maybe Ryan's Is A New Tradition For Us. We Did It Last Year For The First Time. I Cannot Speak For Others But Thanksgiving As We Have Known It Is Pretty Much History. Christmas Is Basically The Same. We Bring Our Smiles And Try To Be Festive.
Truthfully I Would As Soon Wave Bye Bye To The Holiday's All Together. You Reach A Point In Time All The Excitement And Thrills Of The Holiday Season Lies In Years Past.
I Suppose The Memories We Create In The Present Moment Will Someday Look Back With Fondness. Both My Parents Are In Their Senior Years And Will One Day Be Gone. Maybe Doing It Like This Will Pave The Way For The Siblings Annual Get Together. I Hope So And Look Forward To Next Year. Now If I Can Get To The First Of January I Would Be A Much Happier Person.

November 22nd

November 22nd Must Be The Most Memorable Date In History Other Than Christmas. Most Know It As The Day President John F Kennedy Was Assassinated In Dallas Texas. I Don't Recall A Single Year Thereafter The News Media Has Not Reminded Us What Date It Was. Those Who Were Old Enough To Remember This Horrible Tragedy However Don't Need Reminders. Those Old Enough To Remember Know Exactly Where They Were When They First Heard Of The President's Shooting.

Today Marks The 50th Anniversary Of His Death. Ceremonies Of Remembrance Conducted Throughout This Day. I Was Only Eight Years Old. I Was Sitting In My 3rd Grade Classroom When The Principal Whispered Something In The Ear Of Our Teacher. Tears Were Steaming Down Her Face. At That Time She Sat On The Edge Of Her Desk To Give Us This Tragic News.

School Was Soon Dismissed And For Days We Watched History In The Making Over Our Black And White Television. These Events Are Etched In My Memory Forever.

However The 22nd Of November Holds Additional Memories For Me. On November 22, 2010 I Saw My Son Bobby For The Last Time. My Brother And I Drove Him To Indianapolis To Catch A Flight To Florida. He Needed To Get Out Of Danville And Into A Larger Economy So It Would Be Easier To Find Good Employment. Most Who Read My Blogs Know The End Result. So Now For Me The 22nd Day Of November Holds More Than One Reminder. Both I Remember With Sadness.

I Miss You So Much Bobby. There Is Not A Day That Goes By That I Don't Think Of You. This Picture Taken Of You Holds Fond Memories. I Have Found It Very Difficult To Find Complete Peace. I Still Cry At Times When I Sit And Day Dream Of The Times We Shared. For Those Who Don't Understand Why It's Still Difficult Even After Three Years Have Never Lost A Child. I Have A Big Void In My Life That Nothing Can Ever Fill. It's Gone Forever.
I Try Not To Sadden My Readers By My Depressed Writings. I Can't Promise You I Won't Write About Bobby Again. I Will However Try To Find More Uplifting Topics To Share With You In Future Blogs.
For My Friends That Believe In  Prayer I Ask That You Continue To Pray For Me And My Family. I Seldom Talk About Bobby With My Immediate Family Because They Too Are Hurting And There Is Nothing I Can Say Or Do To Take That Pain Away. So We Just Avoid The Topic All Together. Don't Get Me Wrong, His Name Comes Up In Different Conversations We Have. Fond Memories. A Moment We Can Actually Smile Because It Was A Happy Time. Most Importantly It's A Memory We Can Cherish For A Lifetime.