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Bobby.....

Dates We Remember. It's Because They Stand Out More Than Any Other. It Could Be A Birthday, Anniversary, A Piece Of Time That Stands Out Like No Other.
Today Is One Of Those Days. On The 29th Of December 2010 My Son Bobby Joe Miller Passed This Life And Crossed Over To The Other Side. He Was 29 Years Old The Day Of His Passing.
I Miss Bobby As Much Today As The Day I First Lost Him. I Have Never Portrayed Him As A Saint And I Never Will. He Had His Struggles In Life Like Many Of Us Do. In Spite Of His Shortcomings He Was A Good Decent Person Who Had A Heart Of Gold. His Ambition In Life Was To Make His Family Proud One Day. That Day Came And Stayed With Me When He Told Me He Would One Day Take The Reins Of The Robin Hood Foundation Of Danville And Continue The Mission In Helping Those Less Fortunate. Bobby Wasn't A Religious Man Yet I Shared With Him About The Scriptures In The Bible And What Our Responsibilities Were As Christians In Helping The Poor.
The Bible Instructs Us To Help The Poor In Deuteronomy 15:7-11, “There Will Always Be Poor Among-st Us. For The Lord Will Prosper You In Everything You Do For Them". This Verse Has Helped The Ministry Of Our Organization Primarily Because Of Strong Christianity.
Bobby Left Behind Four Beautiful Children. I Love Them All So Dearly. If This Was His Only Legacy He Left Behind For Us To Remember Him, Then Through The Eyes Of Those Precious Souls He Will Live On Forever In My Heart.
As His Father I Loved Him Unconditionally. He Had His Faults And Made Plenty Of Mistakes Along The Way. I However Saw The Good In Him And Always Hoped He Would One Day Walk The Straight And Narrow Path That Was Laid In Front Of Him.
I Have Photo's And Video's To Remember Him By. So Much Sand Has Passed Through The Hourglass. I Have Yet To Visit Him At The Cemetery With Any One Else. I Have Always Considered It My Sacred Moment With Him. Even Though It's Just His Flesh In The Ground, The Visit I Suppose Is For My Own Grievance. Because I Am A Believer I Have No Doubt He Is With My Lord And Savior. In Spite Of What Others May Feel I Trust My Lord And Know Within My Heart He Led Him Through The Gates Of Paradise For Everlasting Life.
I Often Speak To Bobby. I'm Not Sure If That Is Normal Or Not But Frankly I Don't Care. Everytime 713 Comes Onto My Clock And My Attention Is Drawn To It I Use That Entire Minute And Tell Him I Miss Him And Love Him And Wish He Was Still Around. The Significance Behind Those Numbers Was Because He Was Born On July 13th. His Childhood Address And Mine Was 713. I Remembered Each Time It Would Come Up On The Lottery I Would Bring His Attention To It. He Would Say Yep I Should Have Played Those Numbers. It's My Only Dream In Bowling. Not To Roll A Perfect Game But To Roll A 713 Series Of Three Games. That Equals About A 237 Game Times 3.
So Again As I Take Time To Reflect On The Life Of My Son I Will With A Smile. I Refuse To Remember Him In Death. I Will Remember Him For The Good He Had Done And The Memories He Left Behind. So Yes This Day Brings Some Sadness Because I Miss Him So Much. Yet On The Other Hand I Am Thankful For The 29 Years God Gave Him To Us And The Times We Shared. From The Day Of His Birth To The Date Of His Death. The Blessings Of The Moments Between Gave My A Lifetime And A Heart Full Of Great Memories. I Will Love You Until My Last Breath And Beyond.

The Emptiness Over The Holiday

I Call It Christmas Distraction. I Am Sure There Are More Proper Names For It. It Happens Around The Holiday Season. You Miss A Loved One Because They Are No Longer With Us.
The Day After Christmas Cannot Come Fast Enough For Me. I Have Heard Others Say This Over The Years But Could Not Fully Comprehend It Until Bobby Passed Away. If It Were Left Up To Me I Would Just As Soon Skip Christmas This Year And Every Year After That. Yet I Have Been Reminded Time After Time That I Have Grandchildren Who Look Forward To Christmas. There Are Too Many Christmas's Past That Come To Mind When Bobby Was Still With Us. I Didn't Have The Opportunity To Spend His Last Christmas Together. He Had Already Moved To Florida. All I Have Are The Christmas Moments Of The Past. I Do Have Some Photo's Of His Last Christmas In Florida. Even Though I Didn't Get To See Him On This Day, I Know He Made A Little Girl's Christmas A Very Special One.
I Would Love To Have That Special Teddy Bear He Made For That Little Girl. I Often Wonder If It's Sitting In A Toy Box Someplace. Maybe At A Goodwill Store. He Helped Stuff And Sew This Bear For A Little Girl. I Hope She Understands The Importance Of This Bear.
There Will Be No More Christmas's With Bobby. My Heart Aches Today As Much As It Did When We First Lost Him In December Of 2010. That Time Is So Vivid Yet Blurry. There Are Moments I Don't Want To Remember Because It's Too Painful.
So Now I Can Truly Understand Why Some People Are No Longer Joyful In The Holiday Season. If You Know One Of These People Please Remember Them In Prayer. I Cannot Recommend Anything Else Because Everyone Is Different In Their Grief. Some Don't Need Or Want Reminders There Is Someone Missing This Christmas Season.
I Have Already Read This Evening On Facebook Where Someone Is Missing Their Mother This Christmas Season. The Pain Is Still There. There Will Always Be Pain. Yes I Suppose I Will Put That Happy Smile On My Face Over The Next Couple Of Weeks But Be Assured It's Phoney.
Let It Be Known This Is A World Wide Birthday Bash For Our Savior Lord. For He Knows My Heart And Understands My Pain. So Happy Birthday Jesus. For You Are The Reason For The Season.

The Lady In Red

You Will Get Use To Some Of The Names In My Writings As You Read Them In Future Blogs. My Brother Tuck And I Attended A Play At A Local Church Last Sunday Night. The Play Was About A Family Who Loved To Listen To The Radio Around The Times Of WW2. It Was An Ok Performance, I Have Seen Better. Overall Though I Enjoyed Going And It Gave My Brother And I A Memory. You Will Notice In Some Of My Blogs I Will Make Mention Of Creating Memories. I Think That Is One Of The Most Important Things A Person Can Do In Their Life. Create Memories. You Create Them With People You Love Or Enjoy Being Around. I Often Sit Back And Reminisce Of Times Of The Past With My Grandpa. Memories Of My Grade School Days. How About Anything That Brings A Smile To Your Face?
Anyway Back To The Play. There Was A Choir That Sang In Different Segments Of This Play. The Gentlemen And Women Wore Clothing They Wore Back In The 1940's. Everybody In That Choir Had A Songbook With The Exception Of The Lady In Red. She Was An Elderly Woman And My Eyes Were Focussed On Her Lips. She Didn't Need A Song Book. She Mouthed Every Word Correctly Where You Would See She Didn't Miss A Word. Yet The Others Would Glance In The Book To Be Sure Of The Correct Words.
So The Play Was Focussed On The Day Surrounding The Bombing Of Pearl Harbor And The Effects It Had On This Particular Family.
I Seen Some Friends I Hadn't Seen For A Few Years. I Consider Myself A Controlled Fellowshipper.(Is There Such A Word?). I Decide Whether Or Not I Approach The Individual. If I Choose Not To It's Not A Bad Thing. Maybe I Have A Good Show Coming On At 9pm And Only Have Ten Minutes To Get There. Quickly I will Include My Dress Attire Was Some What Questionable. I Asked Tuck Prior The Suggested Dress For The Evening. He Told Me He Was Going To Sit In The Balcony. I Wore A Nice pair Of Jeans And A New Sweatshirt. I Knew They Were Going To Recognize All Of The Veterans. I Thought Maybe They Would Ask Them To Stand. Wrong! They Asked The To Come Forward And Our Mayor Said A Few Remarks And Declared That Date To Be For Those Who Served.
I Stayed Back Because Of How I Was Dressed. After Looking At These Veterans Who In My Opinion Were Not Dressed As Well As I Was, I Knew I Should Have Come Forward. I Will Be The First To Admit That It's Difficult To Adapt To The 21st Century. We Are Almost 15 Years Into It And I Still Have The Old Fashioned Way Of Thinking. Maybe I Am Getting Old. They Say Age Is Just A Number. I Do Agree With That. I Think The One Thing That Bothers Me The Most About Getting Old Is When You Are Registering For Something On These Computers And It Asked For The Year You Were Born. It Has A Window You Can Click On And It Gives You The Year In Which You Were Born. It's Very Depressing When You Have To Keep Scrolling To Get To The Year You Were Born.
To The Lady In Red; If You Ever Read This Blog, which I Highly Doubt That You Will, I Want To Tell You I Enjoyed Watching You Sing Those Christmas Songs Without The Assistance Of The Song Book. I Think That Impressed Me The Most.....Mac

It Was In June Of 1995 Since I Last Went Fishing. I Really Can't Consider It A Pleasant Memory Because I Was Cited For Fishing Without A License. It Was A Last Minute Decision That Ended Up Costing Me 75.00.
I Thought It Was About Time I Took My Grandson AJ To My Favorite Places. The Ellsworth Dam Held A Lot Of Memories Through The Years. I Caught Many Fish There And I Wanted To Share That Experience With Him. Shortly After We Found Our Fishing Spot AJ Pointed Just A Few Feet Away A Yellow And Black Butterfly Resting On A Rock. Yellow And Black Were Bobby's Colors. AJ And I Both Knew That And I Thought How Appropriate At That Moment In Time For That Butterfly To be There At That Exact Moment. I Joked With AJ That His Uncle Bobby Was The Last One To Take Him Fishing And He Just Landed There To Tell Us It Was About Time I Took Him Fishing.
Of Course There Are People Who Don't Believe In Things Like That But I Do And I Find Comfort In That. That Butterfly Stayed On That Rock The Entire Time We Fished. How Touching For the Both Of Us That Bobby Kept Us Company During That Special Moment In Time. We Didn't Catch Anything That Day But Really It Didn't Matter Much To Me. I Have Caught Many Fish Through The Years. I Just Want The Thrill Of That To Be With AJ. No Better Feeling Than To Hook Into A Carp And Bring It To Shore. So Many Memories I Have Of Fishing With My Grandfather And Uncles. Enough To last A Lifetime.

I Just Recently Lost My Job. It Was In The Fall Of 1980. Our Daughter Was Only Eight Months Old. The News Of Having Another Baby Was Devastating To Us. We Had Only Planned On Having One Child. We Considered Her Our Miracle Child. The Thought Of Having Another Baby Was A Scary Feeling Because The News Of Me Losing My Job Was So Fresh In My Mind. I Know That Having A New Addition To The Family Was Suppose To Be A Joyous Occasion, Yet In The Back Of My Mind I Was Very Worried.
As The Weeks Passed We Came To Realize That This Was Suppose To Be. What We Didn't Realize Was His Time On Earth Was Limited. God Lent Him To Us For 29 Years. He Was Conceived Without Notice And He Died The Same Way.
Bobby Was Never Told He Was Not Planned. Even Though He Was Raised With Much Love I Never Wanted For Him To Think He Wasn't Planned.
After He Was  Born I Found Myself Ashamed For My Feelings Of An Unplanned Pregnancy. Our Wake Up Call Came Shortly After Birth When He Was Put In ICU For A Couple Of Days For A Lung Issue. Other Than That And Having Webbed Toes He Was A Healthy Baby. I Always Joked He Would Always Out Swim Anyone In The Family. He Began A New Tradition Because I Knew Of No One In The Family Who Had Webbed Toes. It Was Handed Down To A Couple Of His Kids And I Consider That A Good Thing. Today They Can Look Down At Their Feet And Know They Have Their Daddy's Toes.
Today Marks What Would Have Been Bobby's 33rd Birthday. July 13th Became Bobby's Favorite Number. Not Only Was It 7-13, Our House Address Was Also 713. Whenever It Came Up On The Lottery I Would Point It Out To Bobby He Should Have Bought A Ticket. Even Today I Find Myself Looking At The Pick Three Of The Lottery To See If Bobby's Number Came Up.
Bobby Was About 5 or 6 When I Purchased The Family Home So I Could Raise My Family In The Same Home As I Did Years Earlier. Growing Up On Franklin Street Had A Special Meaning. Even Though The Neighborhood Was Much Different That What It Was When I Grew Up The House Itself Held Fond Memories. Being Raised In A Large Family And A Foster Home You Never Knew How Many Would Be Sitting At The Dinner Table. However, Raising My Family Life Was Considered More Simplified. Both Kids Had Their Own Room. Neither Of Them Had To Share Much Because One Was A Girl While The Other Was A Boy.
So Today As I Reflect On Bobby's Life On Earth I Do So With A Smile. Even Though He Made Mistakes Along The Way, He Left His Legacy Through His Children. I Never Portrayed Him As A Saint. I Always Considered Him A Good Hearted Person. He Always Had Good Intentions In What Ever He Set Out To Do. The End Result May Not Have Been What He Had Wanted But He Learned The Hard Way.
You Just Can't Sum Up Someone's Life In One Blog. There Are So Many Memories Throughout The Years. Too Many To Recall. He Might Have Had A Couple Haters But For The Most Part Bobby Was Much Loved By All Who Knew Him. It Was My Hopes He Would One Day Replace Me In My Charitable Work For The Community.
I Consider Myself To Be A Christian. I Believe In Heaven. I Believe I Will Someday See Him Again. I Have Experienced Many "First", Like The First Father's Day Without Him. The First Christmas, Etc. Today Marks The Expiration Date For His Driver's License. I Have Sat And Stared Into His Grinning Face Many Times Over. Floods Of Memories Overwhelm Me. I Like Many Fathers Would Gladly Take His Place So We Can Have Him Back On Earth Again. So Sadly We All Know That Could Never happen. At Times It Doesn't Seem Real. He Can't Really Be Gone. This Was Not In Our Plans. He Was Suppose To Watch Me Grow Old. He Won't Experience The Things A Father Is Suppose To Experience. I'm Not Sure Who Feels Cheated.
There Is No Use For The Blame Game. There Are All Kinds Of Woulda, Coulda, & Shoulda's, But What's The Sense? I Know In My Heart Why He Is No Longer With Us. I Would Not Rest Until I Had All Of The Answers. At First It Was Like A Puzzle. I Would Get Information From One Place And More In Another. It Took Me Awhile Before I Had All The Pieces.
I Chose To Keep Much Of My Information To Myself So Bobby Can Rest In Peace. I Will Always Know The Truth And The Truth Has Set Me Free. It's Bobby's Memory I Will Always Hold Close To My Heart. He Was A Wonderful Son And That I Will Always Remember. I Love You My Boy. R.I.P.....7-13-81/12-29-2010..

Since It Has Been Awhile Since I Last Posted A Blog Some People May Think The Sky Is Falling. Actually The Reason For This Blog Is Two Fold. One Being The Length Between Blogs And The Lousy Weather Forecasting. I Find It Amazing How A High Paying Occupation Can Keep Getting It Wrong Time After Time.
With The Technology We Have In The 21st Century You Would Think A Weather Forecaster Could Get It Right. Apparently I Am In The Wrong Business. I Can Stand In Front Of A Weather Map And Tell You It Rained Yesterday.
The Past Two Fridays I Sat The Sale Out Because Of The Forecast. I Could Have Easily Conducted Both Sales With Little Problems Of Rain. Yet The Moment I Show Up With 30% Rain Predicted It Would Rain All Over Me. Last Friday Was A Prediction Of 50%. No Rain. This Friday Had 40% Chance For Rain. No Rain. It Get's Rather Frustrating.
As Far As My Reason For Not Blogging? I Have None. At Least Not A Good One. I Will Try To Get Back In The Swing Of Things When It Comes To Blogging.
My Summer Is Busy As Usual And The Heat Is On. It's Been Very Humid Recently. I Try To Start My Day Earlier To Beat The Heat. Sweating At 8:00 In The Morning Is Telling Of The Weather. Am I Complaining? No, Not Really. I Complained All Winter How Cold It Was. I Am A Warm Weather Person. My Sweat Rag And I Are Best Friends. We Go Almost Everywhere Together.
I Am Bowling On A 13 Week Summer League. We Have Been In First Place Since Week One. We have A Good Team And It Is My Hopes We Can Finish In First. Last Year We Finished In Second With The Same Faces As Last.
Ok, It's Safe To Look Up Because The Sky Is Not Falling After All. It's Just A Long Over Due Blog.

My First Sugar Cookie

I Had No Idea Her Name At The Time But I Referred To Her As The Cookie Lady. When Children Accompanied Their Parents To Arnholt Bakery They Were Given A Sugar Cookie. It Was Just A Couple Years Later When I Found Out The Cookie Lady Was Mary Ann Arnholt, Wife Of Jerry Arnholt, Owner Of The Establishment.
Mary Ann Passed Away On Sunday Afternoon March 9th. I Have Memories Of This Bakery Since It Was Just Two Blocks From My Family Home. On Hot Summer Nights I Would Sleep Near An Open Window. The Aroma Of Fresh Baked Bread And Bakery Goods Was A Smell I Would Always Remember That Engulf The Neighborhood.
Arnholt's Was My First Job When I Was In High School. I Would Report For Work At 5am To Fry Doughnuts Until It Was Time To Go To School. After School I Would Return To Sweep The Floor and Wash Baking Bowls, Cookie Trays And Whatever Else That Needed To Be Done Before The Next Day Of Baking.
My Condolences To The Arnholt Family At This Time For Their Loss. Thank You Mary Ann For Your Kindness In Giving A Little Boy Not Just A Cookie But A Memory For A Lifetime.

Growing Up In The Neighborhood Of Franklin School

In September Of 1961 I Became A Student Of Franklin Grade School. Even Though It Doesn't Stand Today, I Still Have The Memories Of People And Events That Took Place Both Inside And Out. My First Day In Attendance There I Realized I Had Two Mothers. My First Grade Teacher, Miss Irene Cook Was A Gentle Yet Stern Teacher. My First Memory Of Her Was When She Was Teaching Us How To Wash Our Hands. It Was My Turn And I Failed Immediately. At Home I Was Taught To Lather The Wash Cloth With Soap, Wash Yourself, Then Rinse Afterwards. I Was Quickly Corrected And Told To Lather Our Hands With A Bar Of Soap Then Rinsed By Water. Back In Those Days It Was Common For Us All To Use The Same Bar Of Soap. Of Course Since Those Days Certain Procedures Have Changed Including The Way We Wash Our Hands. So Many Germs Are Passed Onto Others Simply Because We Had Been Doing The Same Things For Hundreds Of Years.
As My Mother Has Told Me I Wanted To Wear Short Pants To School. The Teacher Didn't Have Objection To It. I Do Recall Watching Home Movies That My Mother Would Take Of The Children On The Playground. You Could Easily Point Me Out As The Only Kid Wearing Short Pants. I Suppose One Of The Most Fondest Memories I Have Is Not Of The School Itself But That Of Both Students And The Faculty Inside Of Those Old Brick Walls. Years On Top Of Years I Can Recall Memories I Hope To Share With My Readers Of My Blogs Over Time. Most Are Happy Times Yet There May Be A Couple That Will Tug At Your Heart Strings.
Even Though That Mighty Building No Longer Stands Today I Can Close My Eyes And Recall Almost Everything As If It Were Still There. One Thing Is For Certain Though. I Am Thankful That My Mother Was There With Her Camera To Capture Some Of The Special Moments At Franklin School. To Be Continued......