Thanksgiving 2013

Our Family Gathered At Ryan's In Champaign. It Was A Nice Get Together. One Day It Will Be Just A Memory. It's Sad To See It That Way But It's True. Life Can Change So Quickly. We Need To Cherish Each Moment We Have To Be Together. Maybe Ryan's Is A New Tradition For Us. We Did It Last Year For The First Time. I Cannot Speak For Others But Thanksgiving As We Have Known It Is Pretty Much History. Christmas Is Basically The Same. We Bring Our Smiles And Try To Be Festive.
Truthfully I Would As Soon Wave Bye Bye To The Holiday's All Together. You Reach A Point In Time All The Excitement And Thrills Of The Holiday Season Lies In Years Past.
I Suppose The Memories We Create In The Present Moment Will Someday Look Back With Fondness. Both My Parents Are In Their Senior Years And Will One Day Be Gone. Maybe Doing It Like This Will Pave The Way For The Siblings Annual Get Together. I Hope So And Look Forward To Next Year. Now If I Can Get To The First Of January I Would Be A Much Happier Person.

November 22nd

November 22nd Must Be The Most Memorable Date In History Other Than Christmas. Most Know It As The Day President John F Kennedy Was Assassinated In Dallas Texas. I Don't Recall A Single Year Thereafter The News Media Has Not Reminded Us What Date It Was. Those Who Were Old Enough To Remember This Horrible Tragedy However Don't Need Reminders. Those Old Enough To Remember Know Exactly Where They Were When They First Heard Of The President's Shooting.

Today Marks The 50th Anniversary Of His Death. Ceremonies Of Remembrance Conducted Throughout This Day. I Was Only Eight Years Old. I Was Sitting In My 3rd Grade Classroom When The Principal Whispered Something In The Ear Of Our Teacher. Tears Were Steaming Down Her Face. At That Time She Sat On The Edge Of Her Desk To Give Us This Tragic News.

School Was Soon Dismissed And For Days We Watched History In The Making Over Our Black And White Television. These Events Are Etched In My Memory Forever.

However The 22nd Of November Holds Additional Memories For Me. On November 22, 2010 I Saw My Son Bobby For The Last Time. My Brother And I Drove Him To Indianapolis To Catch A Flight To Florida. He Needed To Get Out Of Danville And Into A Larger Economy So It Would Be Easier To Find Good Employment. Most Who Read My Blogs Know The End Result. So Now For Me The 22nd Day Of November Holds More Than One Reminder. Both I Remember With Sadness.

I Miss You So Much Bobby. There Is Not A Day That Goes By That I Don't Think Of You. This Picture Taken Of You Holds Fond Memories. I Have Found It Very Difficult To Find Complete Peace. I Still Cry At Times When I Sit And Day Dream Of The Times We Shared. For Those Who Don't Understand Why It's Still Difficult Even After Three Years Have Never Lost A Child. I Have A Big Void In My Life That Nothing Can Ever Fill. It's Gone Forever.
I Try Not To Sadden My Readers By My Depressed Writings. I Can't Promise You I Won't Write About Bobby Again. I Will However Try To Find More Uplifting Topics To Share With You In Future Blogs.
For My Friends That Believe In  Prayer I Ask That You Continue To Pray For Me And My Family. I Seldom Talk About Bobby With My Immediate Family Because They Too Are Hurting And There Is Nothing I Can Say Or Do To Take That Pain Away. So We Just Avoid The Topic All Together. Don't Get Me Wrong, His Name Comes Up In Different Conversations We Have. Fond Memories. A Moment We Can Actually Smile Because It Was A Happy Time. Most Importantly It's A Memory We Can Cherish For A Lifetime.

Turn Your Clock Back

Tonight We Set Our Clocks Back 1 Hour. Why Just One Hour? I Wish For One Time I Could Set The Clock Back To A Time That I Could Make A Difference In My World. Most That Know Me Know I Would Go Back To The Night My Son Shot And Killed Himself. I Can't Imagine Going Back Any Further Than That Because I Am Content With My Life And Those Who Are In It. I Cannot Imagine My Life Without My Loved Ones In It.
Just The Other Day Billie Asked Me If I Still Thought Of Bobby. I Told Her Everyday, Then I Broke Down In Tears. I Am Sorry I Did This Because It Was Her Birthday. I Didn't Want To Spoil Her Day But Really I Didn't Know Where It Came From. It's Been Awhile Since I Last Cried So Hard For Bobby. Considering It's Been Almost Three Years I Miss Him Just As If It Were Yesterday. Those Who Have Never Lost A Child Have No Idea. The Feeling Of Emptiness Is So Overwhelming. I Would Have Traded Places In A Heart Beat. If Only I Could Turn That Clock Back To The Early Morning Hours Of  December 29th, 2010. I Am Certain I Could Have Changed What Happened That Night.
Yes I Realize I Am Wishing For Something That Could Never Be. If I Was Granted Just One Wish In This World, That's What It Would Be. Forget All The Wealth In The World, Money, Cars, Trips. None Of It Really Matters Without The Ones You Love.
I Have Suffered From Depression For As Long As I Can Remember. It's Nothing To Be Ashamed Of. To Look At Me You Could Never See It. Depression Strikes Millions Of People All Over The World. It Took Me Many Years Before I Could Look At Myself In The Mirror. I Found A Friend In Jesus. My Relationship With Him Is Special. He Truly Understands Why I Think The Way I Do. It's Because Of Him I Can Continue My Life Here On Earth. I Will Never Recover From Losing My Son. I Can Only Be Thankful For The Ones I Have In My Life Today, Which I Am Very Grateful.
At The Stroke Of Midnight My Mind May Be On Wishing It Were December 29th 2010, Yet In Reality It's Just A New Beginning For A New Day. Even Though I Don't Have The Powers To Turn Time Back, I Can Though Be Thankful For The Memories Of Yesteryear.

Yes, This Is Going To Be About Bowling Again. Where To Stand, Where To Throw. Move To The Left, Move To The Right. Move Up, Move Back. Hold The Ball High, Hold It Lower. Why Does It Have To Be So Difficult? I Have A 14 Pound Ball Traveling Down 60 Feet Of A Bowling Lane. Why Can't It Be More Simpler?
There Have Been Days I Would Go To My Bowling Center And Bowl Very Well, Only To See The Very Next Day The Results To Be The Opposite. The Old Phrase Of Practice Makes Perfect Was Just That, A "Phrase". However Today Something Happened. The Light Bulb Came On. In All Of My Years Of Frustration Of Trying To Get It Right, May Have Led Up To The Results I Got From It Today. My Biggest Problem In My Bowling Is The Inconsistency Of Putting The Ball Into The Pocket. By The Way, In The Sport Of Bowling The Pocket Is Where You Want The Ball To Be In Order For All Ten Pins To Fall Down.
I Left The Bowling Center With A Smile Today. For Years I Have Left Scratching My Head Trying To Figure Out Why I Have So Much Problem Being Consistent. Sometimes It Can Be In Your Rhythm On The Approach Or The Condition Of The Lane Itself. It Has Become An Obsession To Me. There Are Not Very Many Types Of Sports I Can Participate In At My Age. I Only Wish I Took It More Seriously In Years Past. I Could Have Been A Better Bowler Years Ago. Maybe It Wouldn't Have Taken So Long For That Light Bulb To Finally Turn On. Of Course Practice Sessions Don't Mean Anything. It's All About League Play. Statistics On Paper Separates Practice And Real Competition. Now If I Start Getting Results From All Of My Practice Sessions I May Be leaving The Bowling Center A Happier Person. Many Times I Have Left With My Head Hanging In Shame.
I Suppose Next Week Will Be Pretty Much Like Put Up Or Shut Up. I Am Pretty Pumped Up Due To The Results Of Today. Hopefully I Keep That Smile.

The Funnies Of Bowling

How Far Back Does Bowling Go Anyway? Who Knows? Maybe Back In The Stone Age. Didn't Fred And Barney Go Bowling A Lot? I Bowl A Couple Days A Week And I Just Love It. I Consider Myself An Average Bowler. I Wish I Were Better Than I Am But I Will Settle With What Ability I Have.
I Get A Kick Out Of Bowlers Reaction To What They Leave On The Alley After Their Ball Plowed Through The Pins. Instead Of Blaming Themselves For A Split Or The Infamous Ten Pin Left Standing, Their Outburst Complaint Is Awww That Was Not That Bad Of A Shot! I Didn't Deserve That. I Got Robbed! I Put The Ball Right In The Pocket, It Should Have Been A Strike.
That Was A SOB(Should Have Been)!
Face It, It Is What It Is And That's The Game Of Bowling. There Are Ten Pins In A Rack. If You Hit Nine, You Get Nine. If You Want To Blame Someone For The Pins Not Going Down I Suggest You Go To The Nearest Mirror And Take A Good Long Look.

Germ Fanatic? I Suppose I Am........

Hospitals, Doctor's Office, Schools And Most Public Places Can Be A Scary Place For Those Who Fear Germs. Bacteria Just Looming Around Waiting To Attack An Unsuspecting Soul.
I Suppose It All Started With A Cough Or Sneeze Or Maybe A Handshake. "Somebody" Blessed Me With Tuberculosis Way Back In The 1980's. I Was Selling TV's And VCR's. It Was Dead In The Winter Months. I Became Ill One Day And My Family Doctor Ordered A Battery Of Test To Find Out My Problem. Long Story Short, I Had What They Referred To As Inactive Tuberculosis. I Could Not Pass It On To Anyone. I Was On The Receiving End Of The Ailment. Of Course It Was My Doctor's Duty To Report This Case To County Health Officials. They Had Asked If I Had Been Around Anyone Who Has Been Sneezing Or Wheezing Or Maybe Coughing A Lot. Wellll, It Was Winter Time And Yes A Lot Of That Was Going On. From That Point On I Became More Aware Of My Surroundings. I Found Myself Using My Knuckle To Push The Elevator Button. My Shirt Sleeve To Turn A Door Knob.
Someone Told Me It Would Be A Good Gesture On My Part If I Would Donate Children's Books To Pediatrics. I Believe Some People Mean Well But A Little Common Sense Can Go A Long Way. Your Child May Be There To Receive A Shot Required By Their School. Whooping Cough, The Flu, Or Even The Common Cold. The Office Is Full Of All Kinds Of Germs. Magazines Or Books Are The Worse Things That Can Be Laying Around A Doctor's Office.
I Will Admit My Immune System Is Low And I Am Taking Supplements To Help With That. Just A Little Common Sense Can Keep The Nasty's A Distance From You.
I Don't Believe I Have Reached The Point Where I Would Be Considered A Germ Fanatic. I Am However Quite Aware Of My Surroundings. Things I Touch And People I Am Around.
I Ask That If You Are Sick, Please Keep Your Distance From Me. I'm Not Interested In Your Sharing.

Weekend Crusaders

Well At Least That's What I Call Them. Don't Get Me Wrong, Not Everybody Are Just Weekend Crusader. What I Mean By This Is Those Who Attend Church On Sunday's But Don't Act Christian Like Through Out The Week.
God Has Full Custody Of Me. To Be Honest About It I Haven't Been The Most Perfect Child. I Have Made Some Mistakes And I Am Trying To Do What God Wants From Me. I Have Been Guided By Him And I Have Enjoyed The Journey He Has Taken Me On. Some Of It Has Been Rocky. Some, Smooth Sailing.
My Biggest Weakness Is My Constant Worrying. I Know I Am Not Suppose To Worry When I Put All My Trust In Him. I Have Been Praying About This And He Knows It's My Weakness. I Have Had Many Weaknesses In My Past And With God's Help I Have Over Come Them.
Thank You Lord For Being My GPS In Life.

I Recently Received A Rare Family Item. My Parents Are Currently Downsizing Their Home Preparing For A Move To An Apartment. Since They Have Entered Their "Golden" Years They Decided It To Be The Ideal Time To Find Some Place That Doesn't Require Maintenance. In The Meantime The Decision Of What Goes And What Stays Has Been A Difficult One.
I Decided Early On Not To Be A Buzzard And Swoop Down To Get What Was Being Given. I Have Tried To Be Humble In Anything I Have Requested. A Table Fan With A Mirrored Top Always Stood Out While I Was Growing Up. This Fan Has Been In The Family Since My Parents Became United.
My Father Also Gave Me A Candy Dish That Once Belonged To My Grandmother. I Have No Idea How Long She Had It But I Am Guessing Maybe In The 1940's.
In Addition I Did Request The Old Reel To Reel Tape Recorder That Contained Voices Of Years Past. The Grandfather I Had Never Met. His Clear Audio Is Appreciated By Sitting Here Listening To His Sermons. He Was A Country Preacher Of The Galloway Chapel In Western Indiana. Putting A Voice In Your Ear After All These Years To A Picture You Had Seen Is Priceless.
Listening To The Gaither Trio Before They Became Famous Was An Additional Joy. I Can Remember Sending Audio Tapes To My Uncle Fred And His Family While Growing Up. We Would Exchange Them Throughout The Years. Weddings & Family Gatherings Of People Who Have Passed On Years Ago Are Captured On These Tapes. I Wanted To Preserve My Family History More Than I Wanted Materialistic Items That Have No Special Meaning. They Will Be Passed On To The Next Generation Of Miller's With A Bit Of History Of What They Have Received. I Will Make Sure Who Ever Get's Them Will Appreciate The History Behind Them.

The Forever Building

Have You Ever Wondered How They Can Consider A Mausoleum A Place To Last Forever? Back In The Bible Days A Tomb Made Sense Because It Was All Rock. However The Modern Day Mausoleum Is A Building With A Roof. Yet They Entomb People Inside For Eternity. How Can That Be?
Both My Parents Will Be Placed Inside A Mausoleum. It Makes Me Wonder When This Building Will Reach A Point In Time Where It's No Longer Considered Inhabitable. I Have Yet To See A Building That Was Made To Last Forever. I Suppose I Won't Be Around When That Happens. I Am More Curious Than Anything. Your Thoughts?

You See One Parade You Seen Them All...

I Suppose In Most Cases One Parade Is Like Any Other. As A Child Each Year We Would Get Excited About Going. A Mad Dash For The Candy Being Thrown From The Beautiful Floats Or The Smiling Politicians. Of Course At The Beginning Of Each Parade In Danville The Police And Fire Trucks Were Always An Exciting Start. Lights And Sirens Blaring Hoping To See My Dad Riding Or Driving The Big Fire Truck. Those Days Are Far Gone But The Memory Of It Will Stay With Me Forever.
When My Kids Were Small They Too Were Excited About The Parade. By Then They May Have Caught A Glimpse Of Their Grandfather Riding An Antique Fire Truck With All The Retired Fire Fighters Riding On It. The Beautiful Floats That Took Days To Create. Marching Bands Playing Familiar Songs. Cheerleaders And Pom Poms & Midget Football Players.
I Suppose One Parade Is Just Like Another Unless Someone Special Is In It.
I Can Remember When I Use To Park My Pick Up Truck In An Empty Lot And Could See For More Than A Block Away What Was Approaching. Beckie Took AJ To The Westville Parade This Morning. I Asked Him How It Was And He Just Shrugged His Shoulders. Not Every Child Holds Onto The Precious Memories Of A Generation Before Them. If There Is Good Enough Reason To See Another Parade I Suppose I Would Go. In The Meantime Labor Day Festivities Are A Complete Waste Of My Time And Energy. Labor Day Was Created To Salute The Men And Women Of Union. I Am Sad To Say That Word Someday May Be Extinct. As I Get Older And The More I Read, The Unions Are Not Like They Once Were. When One Union Became Unsuccessful In Working Out An Agreement With Management A Strike Would Be Imminent. To Show Solidarity Nobody Crossed The Picket Lines. Other Unions Would Show Support By Not Patronizing The Business Of Striking Workers. One Day That Will All Be A Memory.
In The Meantime We Can Celebrate It As An End To Summer Time Activities. School Is Back In Session And Fall Is Fast Approaching. The Covered Bridge Festivities Will Be A Bountiful Reminder That Winter Is The Next Season To Come. Here In The Midwest That's Not Exactly Anything To Look Forward To. If It's Too Obvious About My Opinions Of Winter Time Then So Be It. There Are Times I Wish I Was A Bear. Go Into Hibernation In November And Awake In Late March.